Why..

Why does it always seem that my whole being is focused on Weight Loss. I know it's important. I know that it's a life changing event that HAS to happen. But I just feel that everything is so based on food. Like I can't get together with to many people on Friday night. Because I'm liable to not stick to the plan. I have weigh in on Saturday morning. Saturday after weigh in.. I wanna eat something good and not always on my plan. Bad yes.. but good for the soul so I don't go nuts.

Exercising... ugh. I've done so well in the past. I've worked out three times a week for the last few weeks. But I can't get myself to much more than that. I can't bring myself to go to the gym even if I paid for the month. It's either to cold. Or I got the kids. Or the main excuse.. I don't like going alone. But in reality it's that I'm a big lazy ass that doesn't want to move. Maybe it has a lot to do with the winter. I'm so ready for the spring/summer months. Most excuses I know. I want to get remotivated but I just don't know how. My co-worker is doing so well with working out and she encourages me. But it doesn't work. I know it has to be something in me to want to go. I will be my only motivator for sure.

I'm so edgy today too. So maybe my lack of excitement might be that I'm PMSing bad. And the weird thing is. I can totally feel my attitude. I feel like I could just down anyones throat at any given time. I'm hoping people won't talk to me, look at me, or need me for any reason. It'll be in their best interest to just stay away. LOL