with my therapist.. it went ok. I didn't get such a good feeling about the place. it's really old.. unprofessional.. that you have to walk through the waiting room AFTER your appt..(and look like hell if you've cried) to pay your copay. Very weird. My therapists is an older lady that's huge.. like 6'5" and just big.
She was nice.. I explained my situation.. but mostly we just did paperwork. She says.. she thinks we need to work on my personal boundary issues. When to let people close to me.. and when to keep my distance. I think she's right.
well another thing.. Sam and I had a huge fight. And what do you know.. he threw it in my face that I was seeing somebody because I was psycho. I knew he would at some point. He likes to do things to me that hurt me. That for example and the way he says mean things about my mother of all people. He knows that pushes me over the edge.. and he took it there. My problem is.. that I'm always worried about others. My happiness depends on others. Sometimes when I want to do things for me it doesn't work.
For example, I wanted to spend tomorrow night with my friend Gina and her family. All of us.. just having some fun. Well he doesn't want to. He wants to watch the football game here at our house. Well it's always about WHAT he wants.. WHEN he wants it. Never considers me but yet I'm supposed to think about everybody else besides myself. So off he went to the high school football game that we had planned on doing all together. He first says.. he's not going with me. I'm crazy. But then continues to call me names and call my mother some nasty names.. and then says.. he's leaving and taking the kids to the game. So here I sit. with my feelings hurt again. He crossed the line with me tonight. He threw it in my face that I'm seeing a therapists when he already knows I had a hard time even going. Why can't things just go right for me. I even told the therapists that my family was a great support. Including him. YEAH right. I'm so tired. Beyond tired.
He'll come home later and probably pretend it never happened. But him bring that up is way out of line. I'm so ready to up and leave him. But he's the type of person that will throw my kids into it and say I won't get the kids. I'm nuts and on and on. I just can't win. This weekend is starting off on a really bad bad note.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
(((((HUGS))))) Glad you got to go to therapy. It is never a fun thing to do but it sounds like she is good. I am sure it will be helpful.
Sorry you had that argument. We have had the exact same argument and it is UGLY!!!! It is very hurtful. Let me know if you ever want to talk about that.
Hope things are going better for you and you can enjoy your weekend!!!
oh I'm so sorry about the fight! you know what, when people have to get down and dirty and insult you or intentionally hurt you, they know they are "losing" the fight so they do that. Anyway...I hope you are doing better today. I am glad you got to go to the therapist, I wish I would get off my butt and go talk to someone also...I think it would help to get a 3rd party involved to help you see things clearly.
((HUGS))
Thanks girls..it was really hurtful..
Post a Comment