oh lord.. it's been a week...

I promise that I'll get in a post tomorrow. It's been a crazy week for sure. Busy Busy!! Love you Michelle.. thanks for consoling my blog mama!!

Could this day get any worse?

Today I seemed to have lost my office keys. I know they have to be between here and my car. I never take them out of my purse but I did yesterday because I had to get into my file cabinet that I keep locked. So who knows where the heck I put them. Hopefully they are not in a box that I've taped up for storage. LOL

Second thing.. I get into work and see I have a voicemail already so early. I look and it's my alarm company. My alarm is going off and they are gonna dispatch the police. GREAAAT. They charge $25 for a false alarm. perfect.

Well now that I think about it it had to have been me. I left about 6:45 and that's the time it went off. I ran back in the house to get a piece of paper for Erik's soccer practice. I can't remember if I'd reset the code. ugh.. so anyway.. she also tells me that I'd have to go home and manually reset the code. well I work to far away. So does Sam. So either we leave it unarmed or one of us has to go set it.

Thirdly, I feel like blah today. It has everything to do with my period.. I just know it is. I can't get out of the ugly mood that I'm in. It's horrible. oh and yes.. I have another gripe for today. Erik usually has soccer practice on Tuesday and Thursdays. Well Tuesdays are doable for us. I can't get out early to go pick him up and take him. A friend could do it but her son is just finishing up his basketball season. Until then he probably won't be going to soccer practice himself. So, Erik's coach called last and asked if it would be alright for her to pick him up from school and take him to practice which is fine. But this would mean I have to pick him up at 6:30 when practice ends. This isn't totally a problem but because I have to travel half an hour north to go get Q.. then another 20 minutes east to go get Erik.. it's gonna take me all of an hour to go from one place to another. Then another 20 minutes home. I guess my workout will be put on the backburner on Tuesdays. Because my 7:30 or 8pm.. I'm gonna be wanting to just relax. I'm usually done by 7pm. So to just barely be starting without really having dinner.. would not be good for me. I figured that Tuesdays could just be my off day. So I guess I'm off tonight.. YEAH!!

I do have some good news. While I was away on my family trip, Erik did so well in his soccer tournaments. I was so so sorry I missed his games. He won both games on Saturday. And won one game on Sunday and tied the other. Four games total with no losses is awesome. They did get second place just because the team that they tied actually shut out all their other opponents. But that's got to say something for Erik's team. They actually scored on those guys. So I say.. in my eyes they got first place. They were so darn excited Sam says. Everybody was talking about how they are really coming together as a team. And that they may go undefeated this season. We can hope. Well I'm going back to work. I busted butt yesterday. So I'm gonna try and keep up my momenetum.

2.6 hours until vacation.. woohoo

Do not mix.. two allergy pills with a big lunch and no sleep. They just do not work well together. I've been feeling horribly sluggish all day. Since like 9am this morning. I'm about to pass out. I have to workout when I get home too. Maybe I'll find it in myself to get it done. I've been doing so so awful on the diet. Yes I joined WW on saturday.. and yes I've probably gone WAY over my points. But I'm not giving up. I'm still sticking with it. I just have to. I need to be skinny.. LOL

I'm hoping that this weekend while in TN that I can actually get some exercise in. I know that diet will probably be thrown out the window. It usually is while traveling. But we'll see.. everybody cross your fingers for me. XX

Sam and the boys are gonna have some fun. May catch a movie on Friday.. Erik's off from school. And then of course Erik has his tournament this weekend too. I'm hoping I can catch his Sunday game. We'll see what time it starts. Well I don't have a whole to write about today. I've been trying just to stay busy so I don't literally fall asleep at my desk. That would sure not be good. They may take away my raise.. OUCH!!

Love is in the air..

First off, Happy Valentine's Day to my readers.. LOL.. I sound so popular.. WAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Well I'm not expecting much from my honey today. I figure that flowers would be nice but I'm going out of town on Thursday and didn't figure I'd be here to enjoy them before they died on me. So I'm hoping for just a really cute card that he actually put some thought into. Actually stood there and read instead of just grab and go. Those kind of things mean so much more. I did give him a very special card today. I'd left it in his car so that this morning when he was on his way to work he'd see it. Well I know that this probably meant more to me then him. There was actually a story behind it. The first card I picked up and it said the most perfect thing. Very similar to how we met. So I of course thought it was fate that I get this card. Well the sucker read the little bit that I wrote but didn't actually read the card. UGH.. he bugs the heck out of me. But then brings me to the other thing I'd been thinking. How after all these years I can still love the man I married more then ever. I just feel that we must have come upon our soul mates because he and I are truly great together. I'm corny I know. But I just had to say that. LOL

Anyway.. we're planning a steak and potato dinner with our kids. awww the romantic things we do.. LOL

Wishing for a great review...

Today is the day. 1:30pm.. please whoever reads this.. if you could just keep me in your thoughts and prayers. It's not so much about the raise that gets me nervous.. as it is being in a closed room.. with not one of my bosses.. not two.. but ALL three. I'm the only one in the office that has to deal with all three.. :(

I don't like it. I feel intimidated. But I did follow through with my plan. I made green chile chicken enchiladas.. red chile beef enchiladas, spanish rice, refried beans, and tortillas. I hope they like it. That's another thing. I always second guess myself wondering if I did the right thing. oh well. What's done is done. Now I'll just have to feel nervous until 1:30pm.

The weekend was ok. We went to Erik's school Friday night. Then after we went to dinner.. the only place that wasn't an hour wait was IHOP. Not what I would have picked for a great Friday night dinner.. but we were starving. I don't know if we won a basket from Erik's little school function.. The tickets were 50 cents a piece.. we spent 20 bucks. We put a few tickets in the baskets we liked the most. We didn't stay long enough to see if we won.. but they are gonna post the numbers in the office today. Erik says he'll check our number.. rest assured.. I'll be checking behind him.. LOL

There were some really cool stuff. There was this one basket that retailed at $500. They had one of those motorcycle bikes.. I'm assuming somebody donated that. A friend of mine.. her son volunteered her to buy the hiking backpack. She said the cheapest she found one was for $50. It was 50% so she got if for $25. Heck.. now I feel bad for sending Erik in with a little $10 gift card.. LOL The worst thing is that this friend.. didn't get their in time to buy tickets.. She was late. So she was all bugged. LOL

Anyway.. I better look busy. The office is about done with their staff meeting. Have a great Monday.

lots of typos..

Friday must have been a bad day.. I had tons of typos.

oh no.. I don't want it to be Monday..

I'm so tired from cooking all day.. I sure don't want it to be Monday tomorrow.. :(

But I have only a 3 day work week.. YEAH!!

It's the weekend.. YEAHH!!!

No real plans for this weekend but heck.. I'm gonna enjoy it. I do know that we want to plan a weinie roast this weekend for a couple of friends and my SIL and nephews. So that should be fun. Tonight Erik has something going on at his school. I don't nessesarily think we have to go but I'll take him just to be a little bit of school support for him. They will be raffling off gift baskets and stuff that each class did. Maybe we'll ge the basket Erik's class put together. Thier theme was gift cards. Who can't use gift cards, right? Anyway.. we'll do that tonight. I know that I need to get my stuff together for my trip to TN on Thursday. I can hardly wait. I want to see my parents so bad. I know I'll be a little sad cuz I'll be missing Erik's first tourney that same weekend. But Sam will be there.. It'll give him some with just the boys. I reminded him that 8 Below starts that weekend so depending on the soccer schedule he may be able to take them. I'm sure they will be eating out every night and all that good stuff. :)

Sunday.. is the big cooking day. I need to make some stuff for my work to eat. Wednesday we had some greek stuff. Hummus Baba Ganaouj (sp?) pita bread and falafel. It was actually pretty good. Yesterday.. my coworker brought in his homemade Queso. VERY GOOD! Then today.. my other coworker brought in some mexican stuff from this restaurant down the road. Something else that's really good. Now me.. I'm making all my stuff homemade. I'm planning on enchiladas. I may do some beans for those non-meat eaters. I also have some tamales which I have in my freezer which I shouldn't be eating cuz they are FATTENING that I can bring in. You see the difference between them and I. My stuff will be all homemade. YUMMY. Either I'm really thinking that may give me a better chance at a bigger raise.. OR.. I'm cheap.. LMAO

Ok.. I have another problem that I'm been doing research on. Yesterday I looked up low libido for women. Well there was tons and tons of stuff for men. But very little for women. I mostly was just trying to do research for reasons and maybe some natural stuff that I can take. I have mentioned this to my doc but she really didn't take me that seriously. She mentioned that I was a mom, that I worked full time, I was a wife, and that I was just plain busy. We talked about me having tons of broken sleep.. So first thing she put me on was a sleeping pill. (later found out it's also used as an antidepressent). Well anyway.. I take the sleeping pill/anitidepressant and love it. But it hasn't helped my drive at all. So here I am.. still wondering what could possibly be wrong with me. I guess like 60% of women have low sex drive. Why is it ok to give men viagra so freely but they try and find out what a women's problem is before they ever give her medication like that. Anyway.. back to my problem.. I feel horribly guilty.. I feel guilty when I don't do it. I feel guilty when I initiate it out of obligation.. So what is a woman to do? I thought at this age of my life I'd me in my prime. But it doesn't seem to be working like that. I don't have any problems with Sam.. I'm in love with him more each and everyday. I don't take any hormones to make my system crazy. I have no idea what my problem is. If you know of any herbs or anything natural that I could take.. please pass on the info. :)

well off to work.. I have a little less than three hours to do some work.. :)

Survivor Thursday..

I love this show. I'm gonna win the fantasy league so that I can get my prize. Don't even think about coming close to me Peggie. We'll have to figure out if we'd like a buff or something else. I'm all for anything.

Half way done with the week. I'm still slightly upset by my bonus but I'm going to try and just get over that. I can't feel depressed about that right now. I have to make it through my review.. now come Monday afternoon.. if I don't get a decent raise.. I'm gonna be REALLY mad. I mean.. come on. I've given this company a lot of my time and energy. I just feel that I deserve something. I often wonder if they think I'm overpaid for my position. But when you think about it.. if they consider me a receptionist only .. then I'm way overpaid. But I do all their financial stuff... so I'm sorta paid about the right amount. I can admit that with bonuses at the end of the year.. I get a pretty good salary. But a girl can home for more right??

Sam... my awesome hubby got me some shoe inserts.. and my feet and legs felt so much better while running. I'm glad I got them. I'm thinking that I may still get me some inserts that have more support and arch. I have really flat feet which is why I think my feet are hurting. we'll see. I was able to do 4 miles last night. I may either take a break tonight or tomorrow. we'll see how that goes. Usually when I say I'm gonna take a break I never do. I always feel that I NEED to work out. I sure don't like it. But I do it.

blah.. this sucks...

ok.. before you go and say anything just read my story and why it is that it makes me upset.

Today my boss gives a list of bonuses that she wants to do for everyone. Awesome.. GREAT.. Well I look and I see that my bonus is as much as a newbie.. been here about 3 months.. and as much as the PITA that we have working here. (which by the way.. he's on work probation). Other people got about $500 more then me. All of which are newer then me except for one. I'm just mad. I mean I've been doing a darn good job here. I've been here 8 years. I can't see where I don't deserve to get the $500 more then what I did. I may not stay here late.. but I'm here way earlier then a lot of them. oh crap.. I'm done venting. I guess I'll do the bonus checks.. get my money and run.. LMAO

Hump Day.. and what a hump it's been

I'm so glad it's getting toward the end of the week. Actually the week has flown by so far. I just wish that it could be Friday already. I've been extremely busy with work. Trying to get a little more organized. I still have tons more to do. But little by little I'm catching up. I have my review on Monday and it won't hurt to be able to say. I'm organized.. YEAH!!

I'm gonna also look into going shopping for new shoes this weekend. Which reminds me I have to cash in some mypoints for a GC from Foot Locker. That'll help big time.

This weekend I'm just gonna relax. I feel that we don't get to do that enough. I know that I'll have to figure something out for my review. So that can happen on Sunday afternoon or something like that. I'm actually a little nervous. I mean it doesn't ever NOT go well. But you know how it is. I'm the ONLY one that has to meet with all three of my bosses. It's a little intimidating. I'm sure I'll get through it. I mean I've been here for 8 years. what can they possibly tell me after all those years.

Update on my friend.. her dad is hanging on. He's such a strong willed fella.. but very weak physically. I just continue to pray.

I haven't written to my ex-MIL.. I'm still thinking about this. Well back to work..

I need new running shoes...

Last night I got home and I was gonna work out. I was just gonna do a quick walk. So I hop on and not even 5 minutes into it I feel the pain in my legs. Felt to me like it could be chin splints. I do get those. BUT it was not in the same area that you would think. It was on the outter part of the leg in between the chins and the calf. Anyone know where I'm talking about? I'm flat footed.. so I'm wondering if I need new shoes? I've been using these same running shoes for probably more then a couple of years. I don't know how many miles I have on them either. I know that if you run or exercise regularly in shoes you should count the miles.. seems weird.. but true. So anyway... I'm thinking either I need better support.. buying some inserts or just buy new shoes altogether. What a pain in the booty. I ended up doing 4 miles but doing it a slower pace. Not to bad.. but I was on there an extra 10 minutes. I still got a workout. Still burned 400+ calories. still sweated like mother. So I guess all in all I got 'er done.

Tonight I may switch up my workout. I'm thinking maybe pilates and then abs afterwards. I think maybe I should give my legs a rest. I'm much to old for this. Also with my diet.. I'm thinking that with the exercise I'm doing I may not be eating enough. I'm gonna try and make sure I eat breakfast lunch and dinner.. and a couple of snacks.. or fruit in between.

I'm PMSing this week I can tell. I'm irritable. Poor Sam. LOL The traffic sucks. work is overwhelming. My kids are crazy. I'm a little bit chunky LOL. Gas is still outrageous. It's cold today. My parents are still in AZ.I haven't gotten my tax refund yet. It's going all to bills. Alrighty.. I'm done. Just thought I would share my scattered thoughts with you all. Happy Tuesday everyone.

Superbowl Monday..

I think today should be a holiday. I mean I had one drink. I ate a little bit. I got home got the kids ready for school. I had to workout. Helped Erik with his projects. And then to bed. It was a long night. We only stayed at our friends house until middle of the third quarter. There is no way I'd had made it if we had stayed later.

The superbowl was ok. Lots of bogus calls but hey. The best team won. I was going for Seattle but what can you do when they just don't bring their A game. Hopefully I'll be able to catch the commercials I missed. There were a couple that I really liked. A couple of really funny ones. Some that were just dumb. What about the commercials with the old guy and the young girl. Her strap was seconds away from tearing and the old man is just watching. When the strap eventually breaks the old man has to get his oxygen. This was all done for godaddy.com. I mean what is this site. I've been meaning to go there to check it out. But just have not had the time. I'm sure every man in America has been to this site. It was actually pretty funny.

I worked out 6 days last week. did a total of 21 miles. I'm pretty excited about the exercise part but still al ittle disappointed about the weight issue. I'm sure I'm putting on muscle because there just can't be a reason to see no change when I'm working so hard. I'm sad to say I weighed myself this morning. But really am proud that I didn't get all hurt over it. I'm just gonna figure that I'm changing regardless of the weight. I'm working out like never before. I'm eating less and more healthy then ever before. So there are improvements even if they are actually showing up the way I want them to be. I did some shopping this weekend. They were having crazy sales. So I picked up a few shirts and two pairs of pants. The pants were a little tight.. but not to bad. I'll be able to fit into them by the end of the month if not sooner. By that time I'll have a whole new wardrobe. Because my last shopping excursion I also got some pants that were slightly tighter then I like. I'm gonna be looking good in a couple of weeks. YEAH!!

10 days until I'll be seeing my parents in TN. I'm so darn excited. I'm also excited to see my brother. I'm so proud of him and his accomplishments. Hopefully that weekend will go off without a hitch. I'm really looking forward to it. Well staff meeting is almost over and they will soon be coming up to be for something or another. I'll leave you with that. Hope you all have a great Monday!!

oh great!!

ok.. it's Friday.. something to be happy about right?? I'm trying.. :)

Anyway.. I ate horribly yesterday. During employee reviews my bosses really talk big on snack performance. So during this week or two.. there are tons of snacks rolling in. Well yesterday.. I had a croissant, thinking oh.. thats way better then an eclair. So I ate it.. didn't have a snack. Then I had my lunch, Tuna with RF mayo, Pita Chips.. 65% less fat then potato chips. Did so good. Then my (nosey) coworker.. see previous post decides to bring me a frosty from Wendy's. This is after she had already bought it. So.. guess what OINK ate that thing. ME!! So I figured.. ok.. can't be that bad. I'll just let it go. Well come 4pm, my boss decides we're gonna have a little cake party. There was a whole chocolate raspberry cake in the fridge. So there we go all 1800lbs of pig!! We all had a slice. That was the sweetest cake I've ever eaten.. ugh.

That morning I was figuring.. geez I've done so good all week. I'll cut down my workout tonight. Well after that little binge. I ended up doing my 4 miles. That's 16 miles in 4 days. Ok.. and before I say the next thing.. I just want you all to know.. Michelle.. I know muscle weighs more then fat. Gina.. I know I shouldn't weight myself and that I should just throw away my scale. I know these things.. BUT I just am a slave to that thing. I can't get away from it. I should just toss it out. But what if I need it. Which I like keeping track of my progress that way. I don't know what to do. Anyway.. I got on the scale. And it said I had gained. I know I have a POS scale. So it could have been wrong.. BUT UGH!! Why me? I feel fine. My clothes feel fine. But I just still have a frustrated lil mama!! OK RANT OVER...

Today there are tons more pastries from another piggy coworker (see previous post). I'm NOT touching them. I'm drinking my coffee. That's it!!

About the frosty coworker.. I have a theory as to why she bought me that frosty. She also bought one for another coworker.. She bought.. for HERSELF.. chicken nuggets, salad, potato and chile. All for her. I'm sure that she did want the people at Wendy's to think they were all for her so she bought them to make it look like more people were eating. That's just a theory. Either that or she is trying to sabatoge me.. that's it. I'm gonna get her.. LMAO

ahhh.. my favorite day of the week..

Thursday!!

I've been feeling really on edge this week. Really a short temper. really sensitive and emotional. I know I'm not PMSing. Well I don't think I am unless of course I'm off track. But anyway... I for the most part have that in check. I just hate when I feel that I'm losing my control. I've been running/walking 4 miles each day. I believe that helps with the stress that I'm feeling. I get off I feel tired yes.. but I also feel like I accomplished something today. So I'll continue to do this and hopefully it'll wash all of these feelings away.

I think alot of the way I'm feeling as to do with the weather. I don't know if others feel this way too. But like it's just not sunny.. not rainy.. just sorta weird and windy. So I feel weird. I don't know I can't really explain it.

Let's see what else I can write about that will take me out of this blah mood. Well I did our taxes and we're getting actually a really GREAT refund. What we've decided to use it on is to pay our credit card off and then if we have extra we're thinking buying an extra freezer. We just need the space. We buy so much stuff that we are busting out at the seems. Half the time we have to hold back on buying stuff because we just don't have the room. I was looking at the Schwan's book last night and they have some great stuff. Stuff that even Erik can make. We just get home so late that by the time it's dinner time.. pretty much after that is homework, bath and bed time. So it cuts into the time we can actually just relax. So, if we were to get this freezer we can get some stuff for quick meals. I'll have to make sure that whatever I choose to eat or get from there will be good and healthy. I'm sure it'll be good.. no doubt about that.

This weekend we're going to a superbowl party at a friend's house. It should be fun. Sam actually is getting off a couple of hours early so that we don't miss it. I'm sure we won't be able to stay for the whole game as most of us have to work the next day. I usually have Sunday afternoons to iron all our clothes for the week. If I can't get that done early I'll be in a world of hurt when I get back from the party. **Reminder to myself to get that done in the morning.**

I'm also right here right now vowing to go to church on saturday evening. We've been wanting to do this every weekend. Then we get something going and we forget. Well not this weekend, we're going!! We need to get "Godly" :)

Well I've been hit the work again. I still have tons to do.

I don't want my sons to grow up..

Has it ever occured to you that your kids will eventually grown up and have a life? Has it scared the living daylights out of you? Last night Erik asks for a friends to sleep over. I think its ok.. But I often wonder how come this little boy never asks Erik to sleep over there. I personally think that these parents go out on the town when their son is over at our house. He once slept over at our house and they didn't pick him up until the following night. Then he slept another time at a friend of mines house and they were to pick him up the next day. Well they went to TX. They called them later that afternoon and said their car broke down and would it be ok if he spent the night again. I'm like oh no. I don't want to be like a frickin daycare or anything like that. I mean the kid is nice enough.. but from what I hear from Erik.. he has a little girlfriend. I don't want my kids to think of that right now. ok.. so onto my dilemma. I thought about why they don't invite Erik over there.. well in reality, I don't want Erik to go to sleep over anywhere. I'm fine when it's with my parents, brother's house, or good friends house, but any other place and I'm like oh no! I just can't. On weekends he stays with us unless he's with my nephew. At nights he watches tv with us and has dinner with us. I don't want him to have his "own" friends. I don't want him to have his own things to do. I don't want him to have a girlfriend. I don't want him to have a cell phone. I don't want him in middle school. I don't want him to start shaving. I don't want him to get hair in places where older boys have hair. I don't want him to do anything. I know that is totally not going to happen. Can't a mama wish? I tear up just thinking how fast he's growing. How soon enough I will have lost my control on what and when he does things. oh god.. I better stop.. I'm gonna start crying over here. I love my boys.. I don't want them to grow up. I still have time with Q. But Erik.. he's in double digits now.. BAAAAAAAHHHHH!!