Well today is a better day. I have been having some thinking moments where I realize that I'm actually happy with my life. At certain times I feel like I'm hopeless. But this is a new year. We're thinking positive.
I was thinking and thinking.. Sam.. he says I'm really mean and hateful. I don't feel that I'm that way. But I do see where he would say that. I'm hoping that I can get a handle on that this year as well. He really is a good husband and father and I would hate to lose him over something as stupid as giving him hell for something small.
I need to work on my happiness and begin to love myself before I can finally realize why I deliberately try and hurt someone elses feelings. He says he's the only one that I do this to. My parents and friends I don't ever do that. Isnt this weird. I mean.. I tell it's because.. he knows me better then anyone so when he does something I don't like I get upset or hateful. I need to be able to let it slide off my back. I mean it's nothing. For me to over react is just stupid. Well like I've been saying, 2006 is gonna be a better year. I can just feel it.
I'm also gonna try and not take everything so personally. I mean I have my feelings hurt at the drop of a hat. I shouldn't get like that. That's where all my self hatred comes into play. I'm sure of it. I feel that I'm not liked. I try and do my absolute best to make people like me. Almost buying their love. I need to just trust that I'm a likeable person. Or atleast I hope so.
Well I suppose I'll have more to say soon enough. :)
I'm on a new diet, new workout regimen, and have a new take care of yourself attitude. Just little things. Putting on perfume, smelly lotion, washing my makeup everynight where before I didn't care. I will care. I do care. Take care of yourself woman!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I was mean and hateful to J, well he did give me reasons to, but he saw a side of my "temper" that no one else ever did. When I was too scared to open my mouth to someone else and let them know they hurt my feelings, I did take it out on him. I too often wear my feelings on my shoulder but dangit they don't fit in my back pocket =)
Man.. no kidding we're a like huh?
Well, in part that's what he's there for...to be your constant support and accept you at your best and your worst. ((bighugs))
I am the same WAY!...after something that happened at Christmas...and he was sooo nice about it....I decided I HAVE to let the little things go...and LOVE my man!!! Look at all the GOOD he does!!! Sam is awesome!!
Post a Comment