Accepting me in 2006

I'm here to find a way to actually begin to accept myself. I've felt that most of 2005 was about self loathing. I'm fine in front of people. I have a really great way of being "ok". But really I've struggled most of my life with who and what I am.

2006 is gonna be GREAT for me. I'm planning on making myself happy. Making myself feel good. It's always been really hard for me to take compliments. Even last night as Sam was telling me how good I was doing at working out and how well I'm already looking (gag). I just changed the subject or rolled my eyes at him. I just have never been comfortable with taking compliments like that.

I'm ready to change that. I'm also gonna look into maybe going to see a counselor. Not sure I'll have anything to say to her. I'm sure that stuff will come up. Maybe how I miss my parents so much and how I really depend on them to be happy. Maybe I didn't deal with problems the way I should have or could have. Not sure what really makes things tick in my head. It's hard to say. I just know.. that I'm ready to change that.

2005 is over.. done with..

2006 Let's do this..