So Sad...

Today I got an IM from a very good friend. She said they are in the states and her dad is not doing so good. He has terminal cancer. Her and her family flew in last night from Japan. Well I've met her family.. and they are great people. She told me that they were to celebrate their 49th wedding anniversary on the 17th. Well I would hope and pray that he makes it until then. But not so sure as he is in the hospital and they are just trying to make him as comfortable as they can. I really wish we could be there for them right now. But she understands that we're thinking and praying for them. I guess I'm just really upset because it could be my dad.. my mom.. and I don't know how I could possibly keep it together. I don't think I could. But I don't even wanna think about all of that. I'm just praying tonight for George McCoy.. that if it's his time that he goes peacefully.

Hug the ones you love tonight!

ok.. Let's see.

I have this problem. I got a Christmas card from my ex Mother in Law. She sends me a Christmas card every year. Since we moved offices it was very late in getting to me. My dilemma.. She says she's extremely sad. She has lost her boyfriend of several years and her oldest son in the same year. She said she hasn't been able to get over it. She feels like she's dying herself. I feel horrible. I mean I really loved his family. Loved his sister and her son. Loved his brothers and his mom. It was really hard for me to cut them out of my life when K and I split up. I knew it would have to be for the better since now I had Sam in life. But really I don't foresee her having much longer on this earth. I'd like to be able to have some contact with her. I know she liked me a lot. After K and I split up she offered her house to me. She has always wanted me to be in her life. But I chose not to out of respect for Sam.

Well I'm thinking that after all these years it would be ok to send her a letter and just open up a relationship in that way. I don't want to know about K or his life. What I'm interested in is Mary Ann, Lorraine and Steven. I will bring this up to Sam before I do anything. But I just wanted to get some advice as to what you would do. As far as I know. K is married and living in TX somewhere.

I'm going to email Sam or just talk to him about what he thinks. I mean it would be the same with him. If were to split up I would definitely stay in contact with his family even if we didn't have the kids. I pretty sure he'd understand. We'll see.

WAHHH.. it's a blah kinda day..

I don't even have any readers anymore.. LOL Why can't it be Friday??

A New Week...

Well let's see.. I have really nothing exciting to report. I did finish up the week doing 18 miles on my treadmill. I'm not really sure if I've lost or not. My scale is horrible. One minutes it says what I think it should say. Then I step right back on and it says 5lbs more. ugh.. it's annoying. I need a new and better scale. I would hope that I lost at least a pound. All the work I've been doing is getting old if I'm not losing.

On to more upbeat news. I'm excited to get to see my brother graduate from Officer's school in TN. I'm going the weekend of February 16th. It's gonna be nice. I'll be leaving my kids and hubby here. I'll be traveling with my SIL and my two nephews. I'll be meeting my mom and dad there as well. I'm looking forward to it. I'll be taking that Thursday and Friday off. YAY!!

This weekend we really didn't do much of anything. Friday we went to dinner just the four of us. Then home and we watched two movies. We watched Must Love Dogs and Skeleton Key. Skeleten Key was pretty good but the end was really weird. Must Love Dogs was actually kinda boring. Don't tell Sam I tought that. He actually sat and watched the whole movie with me. Saturday we got up and worked out and then got ready to go to the movies. We wanted to see Big Mama's House but wasn't sure it would be suitable for the kids. So we went to see Glory Road. It was PG. This is one of the best movies I have ever seen. You don't even really have to be a basketball fan to love this movie. There were parts that were really hard to watch. I actually even cried on a few parts. But it was a wonderful movie. Definitely something we will buy. Saturday afternoon we just went home and hung out. Did nothing. Sunday Sam called in to work. I went to my SIL's to help her out a bit. Both her and my older nephew were sick. So I went over and kept her company and helped her out a bit with the baby. He's such a chunker.

I'm so not ready for it to be Monday.. But I am looking forward for Thursday!! Survivor.. Love it!!

Also Tuesday Erik starts soccer practice again. And so the long long nights begin. My buddy Jess is gonna pick Erik up from school (her son goes to the same school) and take them to practice. I'll just have to go pick him up. I have to find out where exactly they are having it. Probably 30 minutes from the house.. UGH!! So darn far.

Well I guess I'm checking out for today. I need to get some stuff done so that I look busy. My review is coming up. I got some ideas for some great brown nosing points. I'll share with you all later. ;)

Kathleen came by really quick

on her way home. She is so sweet. She got each of the boys a coloring book and candy. I just wish that we would have had more time to spend together. But I'm sure there will be a next time.

I wanna sleep

I have woken up late twice this week. What's wrong with me. I don't normally even need an alarm clock. I guess I should start setting it just in case. Holy cow.. I got here like 3 minutes late. Doesn't seem to bad.. but I'm NEVER late. I'm actually VERY early.

Well dinner and drinks with Kathleen was great. It was good to see her again. She was finally able to meet the boys since the last time we met they weren't with us in Vegas. Next time I'll have to meet her kids. We went to a local hang out. Gardunos. It's a mexican place. Usually we go to the main one. It's huge and they have Mariachis. But since it was a week night. We all have to be up early. We were closer to this one we hung out at a quieter smaller one. If she were staying tonight we'd be going out to the much larger one. She see how crazy we are. It's a much upbeat atmosphere. This California girl came in a sweatshirt and sandals. I don't know what she was thinking but it was cold as hell last night. LOL Anyway... after dinner we drove back to my house and we hung out for awhile and then she left. Finding her own way back to her hotel. She's good. In a strange city in the dark.. I'd be lost for darn sure. But she did awesome. Go Kathleen!!
She was also able to meet my best buddy Gina. Gina joined us for appetizers and drinks too. Wish we could have stayed out longer.. next time!

Today... lets see. On my agenda.. maybe nap, work out for sure, my eyebrows, I'd like to go to the movies to see Annapolis or maybe Big Momma's House. We'll see. We don't really have any real plans for the weekend. What a shocker. We usually have tons of stuff to do. Oh well it'll actually be really nice just to chill out and relax.

Hope you all are having a GREAT Friday!!

Read previous post first..

First of all... I have these two new co-workers that are nice enough. But they have some things going on that sorta irk me.

The first one. He's very quiet. Very picky..and LOVES LOVES to eat crap. He comes into the kitchen drinks about 4 mountain dews a day and loads up on the doritos. When he doesn't have anything of his own to eat at work (which is never) then he works on cleaning out the cabinets and fridge. The other day, some of my coworkers had gone out to eat. Guess he either didn't want to go or they didn't invite. Well he stood here at my desk (another problem) for like 10 minutes trying to decide where to go and what to eat. Should he order in or just eat junk food? Well he's lazy. Doesn't like to walk anywhere to get anything. He isn't even that heavy. Well he proceeds to tell me that we should have like tamales or something in the freezer so the days that we just stay in we can just throw them in the micro. HUH?? why can't he bring his own food once in awhile. Why is it that half this office feels like we owe them food and drinks. I just don't understand. Yes once in awhile I'll take from the kitchen but I always bring my own snacks and lunches. I told him.. well there is a grocery store right up the street. You can always go and pick up something and keep it in the freezer for just those kinda days. I mean come on. Well the lazy dude just ended up eating a mountain of doritoes and yet another MD. As he walked to his desk half of them fell off that's just how much he had on his plate. It's actually rather gross.

Ok.. second one. She's nice. I like her ok. I'll go into the irks about her. Well first of all she is the same way as coworker number 1. She likes to eat. She herself told me that she feels like she's always having to be snacking on something. Well you go into her "cube" LOL and you'll find the company's snacks. For example we have goldfish. The bulk box from Costco. Well in the box comes two big bags. She has one whole bag in her office. Instead of just getting a bowl or something.. she takes the whole bag. She does this with other things as well. I mean we are running out of food faster then we can do work. LOL She told me that even her "fat clothes" are fitting her tight. Well I wonder why. Geez louise!!

Second thing.. I don't have a cube.. I have a desk that mostly just sits in the open since I'm considered the "receptionist" as well. But I do have a high counter area where most people do their business with me. Thus having some privacy on my computer and my space. Well what to you know.. we hired someone that wants to get up and personal. She will most always walk behind my desk to talk to me. She always while talking to me has to see what exactly is on my screen. Half the time I don't even know why she had to come all the way up to my desk to even talk to me. Like the previous post.. We don't need to correspond in person. That's what email and an in-box was created for.

Third rant of the day. This includes alot of my coworkers too. They think that everything on and in my desk is community property. Do you have a rubber band, what about a stapler, uh.. people in meetings that don't even work here are constantly asking me for paper and pen. Sometimes they will just go in my desk without my permission. Like what do they think they'll find? Maybe they are looking for my undies in the drawer like they did my coworkers. The stinker.. you know the one? If I haven't posted about that I'll have to do it next time.

Ok.. it's time for me to get back to work.. but thought I'd share.. LOL

Before my entry.. I just have to post this joke..

it'll go well with my next blog regarding my coworker.. ugh!!

IT'S MY CUBE!

Don't just bust up in here unannounced. Knock on the wall. Don't stick your head around the corner to see if I'm busy. Announce your presence. Don't just jump in because you don't see a door !)

IT'S MY CUBE!

Don't walk past and ask me who are all the pretty people in my pictures that decorate my desk. First of all, I don't have any ugly relatives. Second of all, I don't have any ugly friends. Third of all, what are you doing lolly gagging around my cube long enough to look at all the pictures that I have anyway? Don't slow your roll at my cube, speed it up.

IT'S MY CUBE!

Don't ask me where I got my plants from, my mirror from or my motivational prints from. That means you've been standing there too long, you better keep on walking. In fact, why don't you walk your butt to the nearest Home Depot or Target? You wanna see decorations? Go to the store nearest you!

IT'S MY CUBE!

If you see me on the phone, don't come in. Don't sit in my vacant chair until I'm done talking on the phone. What makes you think I want you to know all my PERSONAL business? I haven't summoned you. I haven't invited you to take a seat. I haven't asked you to laugh along with me at the jokes I tell my friends on the other line. We don't need to correspond in person. That's what an in-box was created for. You wanna talk to me? Send me an email. You got work for me to see? Drop it off in the in-box OUTSIDE of my cube. It ain't hanging there for decoration!

IT'S MY CUBE!

Don't listen for noises from my cube that announce whether I'm Arriving or leaving. I hate that! When I get here in the morning, I get here. I don't need you to say good morning loud enough so that the whole department can hear. Why do they need to know that I got here at 8:05, not 8:00? And when I get ready to leave, I'm gone. If you hear me taking my bag out of the drawer or zipping up my bag, I don't need you to say goodbye loud enough so that the whole department can hear you announce my departure at 4:45 and not 5:00. I hate that!

IT'S MY CUBE!

Don't think because I have staples, pens and notepads, that Means you can borrow some, I said no the first time. If I say I don't have any, don't walk by to check and see if I'm lying, even though I am. I just don't want you to have it. Do like I did, walk your butt down the hall to the big supply room and get you some stuff. What do I look like, Office Depot?

Repeat after me:

RESPECT MY CUBE!

And have a nice day...........

oh I love this weather..

Today is very cloudy.. dark.. and cold. I love it. I just wish that we would get some real weather instead of just this little bit of snow flakes and sprinkles. We really could use the weather. We'll be in a world of hurt this summer if not.

I'm still on my way to getting things done and in order. Invoices are done except a couple that I'm waiting for more info on. I got a little more of my filing done. I'm paying the bills, Then maybe a little more filing. I still need to make all my AR folders new for 2006. Anyone wanna come help. Hey.. I have a good idea Kath.. when you're here on Friday.. maybe you can come help me work.. LOL Are they renting you a car? If you stay Friday night you can stay at my crib. Let me know. We could have so much fun. I only work half day Friday so that'll give me plenty of time to hang out. It would be so much fun. Anyhow.. I'll have to show you all the cool places.

Boy you aren't kidding that these last two days have sorta just been blah days. I feel a little down and out. But my buddy is coming to visit me and I'm excited as hell.. YEAH!! wish you were here Chelle (CS) :) and Peggie.. LMAO!!

Well it'll be on in Baltimore for sure.

Alright.. back to work I go..

Got some stuff done..

Now to finish up the second half of my invoices, continue my filing and yes.. do this long overdue deposit.. LOL

I worked out last night.. 3 miles. I did actually run one mile straight. I should have just kept going but really I didn't push myself like I should have. I will continue to maybe do 3 the whole week. By the end I'll have done 18 miles.

Ok.. for those that I haven't told.. I need to tell you about my dream.

I was on the bachelor. I really liked this guy. This isn't the bachelor from right now. He sure wasn't a doctor but more of a rebel type. He was also a "pinky" so totally not my type. But I really liked him. I tried so hard to spend time with him. But he mostly just liked me as a best friend type. Well I didn't get my man.. but I did have an old man and a mexican dude that wanted to take his place. It was such a weird dream. LOL

Alright.. back to work. Have a good day mamas!!

Getting busy..

Today is gonna be a productive day. I know that soon I'll be getting my invoices to do. They usually take all day. So I'll have plenty of work to keep me busy. I've vowed to keep productive until I get all my filing done. I have so so much to do. Plus I need to do a deposit that I've been sitting on to try and get my other stuff done. The work never stops. So I guess that means I'll have to slow down on the net until I get my work done. Also.. reviews are coming up. So I need to be on top of my game.

My coworker.. my very sweet coworker.. told me that she can tell that I've lost weight. Now isn't she sweet. And I didn't even pay her. Today.. I have size 13 pants on.. and they are actually kinda lose. I love them.. black courderoys with a cute Salmon color top. Well the same store I bought some size 13 jeans. bummer.. they were tight. I sure don't want to take them back. I'm going to fit into them here really soon. I also purchased this really great lingerie set from Victoria Secret. A little snug.. but mama's gonna be in it by Valentines Day. Promise you that.

I did a lot of shopping this weekend. oh oh and the biggest thing I got.. My Citizen watch.. oh I love it. When Sam bought my ring for my bday. They were offering GC's for every hundred you spent. Well he got $200 in GC's to be used at Kay's Jeweler. So we went shopping. When we got there we find out that we have to spend out of our own pocket the amount of the GC's. Well we looked and looked.. and Sam and I both got watches.. his is a Movado.. mine a citizen. They are really cool. Thank God for credit cards.. (darn it.. I have to pay this off.)

Well better get started on my day of work. Happy Monday Everyone.. including you "Chopped Spam" LMAO

Another week down...

The end of my third week. I worked out 6 times this week. I logged in 17.5 miles for the week. I did pretty good on my diet except Saturday.. which was really good.. but sucks dietwise.. LOL

I'm hoping tomorrow morning when I step on that scale that I've lost something. I'm also on my period and retaining water. I'm drinking tons so I can get rid of it. Cross your fingers for tomorrow morning.

Shinier then Shina..

I love that Nelly song. Peggie.. you need to have a pic of S and put under her braceface picture.. "smile on the rocks".

ok.. well let's see what can I write. I'm afraid to say that I'm tired. I feel like I'm always tired. Not good. I know I'm bloated. I'm on my period. and I'm not in a very good mood. Guess where I'm going today?? to renew my license.. 9 days late. I hope they don't fine me or anything. It was an honest mistake. I think I may renew it for like 10 years. Who knows what I'll be doing in 10 years. that's a frickin long azz time.

I just found out that after this year.. I will have 4 weeks of vacation. I'll be so darn excited. I'll have to deal with 3 weeks this year. But hey that'll be ok. I'll be seeing my girls in Baltimore this year.. YAY. I'm also HOPING we can do a trip to Vegas. Maybe even a cruise.. we'll see.

I'm trying to find a cheap flight out to Knoxville, TN to see my brother graduate in February. I'd only be gone for the weekend. I'd love to see him finish that part of his life. He's been working so hard for his family. He's sacrificed a lot and so has my SIL for sure. And don't forget about my nephews. Josh has had to step it up a lot during the times that my bro has been gone. I'm so proud of all of them.

Hey.. Peggie I was thinking when we go to Baltimore.. do you think they would give us a party at Libby Lu. We'll just sayit's your bday or something. You, me and Kathleen getting makeovers.. awww heaven.

I think I'm gonna be an entrepreneur (off topic.. did you see "flawless" from AI say this LOL). I think I have found people who actually are willing to buy my candles. Gina (my best bud) and I and maybe my SIL are thinking of going into a little business and selling them. Starting off locally and seeing just how that goes. We'll see. I'm telling you.. these candles smell so much stronger then any other candles sold in the stores. I'm thinking of selling the small ones for $7 and the large ones for $13. This is actually quite cheap as I've been looking into other companies and they sell theirs for 13 for the small and 18 for the large. This is Home Interior and Bittersweet Candles. I think we could make a little profit if we sold them. It would be nice to people able to make some extra money.

Ok.. I got 40 minutes in this place.. I'll catch you all later.. Have a GREAT weekend.

American Idol...

What in the world. I guess it would be really hard for me to tell a friend or family member that they really can't sing and that they suck really bad. But boy.. in a heartbeat I'd tell them before they made a complete fool of themselves on TV. In the last two days I've seen so many people. That were actually really truly upset that they were ridiculed.

OK.. for example the "tanned" girl. Now if you've seen the show you know exactly who I mean. I mean come on.. she looked horrible. She sounded horrible. And she was surprised that they didn't like her. She cussed and threw a fit in the end. Her mother looked like she could be homeless. I have this feeling she didn't have any teeth. Which is why she didn't talk much. She sorta had her lips wrapped around what little teeth she had so you wouldn't notice. I just can't get over that tan. She looked like a horrible Mr. Clean drag queen. yucky!

Second example.. and why would you ever wear your police uniform and embarrass all of the Sherrif's Dept. weird.. probably fired by now. And why would they let him go on and on and on "I shot the Sherrif, but I didn't shoot the deputy" "I shot the sherrif but I didn't shoot the deputy" Oh and he tried to hard showing off all of his 2 ranges. Doing a little bravado in there.. oh lord.

Third example.. why would there be two Garcia's that totally sucked last night. I do have Garcia family that live in Denver. I'm happy to say that they are not in my immediate family. I hope they aren't cousins of cousins. That would be just horrible.

What a about the two nerdy guys. I think one was called Flawless. More like talentless. He sucked. Him and all his matching outfits. The other lil nerdy guy that made the cosmic coaster. That's sorta a dumb idea. I guess maybe he thought we could make it in hollywood.

Ok.. I'm actually gonna start working now. But really wanted to summarize just how funny I think this season of AI is gonna be.

I so wish it was the weekend.

I'm tired today. I got ok sleep. I woke up a few times. Q isn't feeling so hot so I got up to check on him a few times. I took him to school this morning. He was wanting to go. Seemed fine. Gave him some cough and cold meds. We'll see if he lasts all day. If they call I guess Sam will get an early out because he'll be going to pick him up. I have an admin meeting during lunch here at work. Can't get out of that as I have to provide most all of the information. I'm sure it'll be really interesting..

Last night I ended up doing 5 miles on my treadmill. It took me 90 minutes.. geez louise. I was tired. But I felt good. I probably won't ever do 5 miles again but heck.. I did it one time. I'm working my endurance up so that I can start running it all the time. Little by little.

This morning I'm listening to the radio on my way to work. They carried over the discussion from yesterday. Interracial couples and biracial kids. Well there was one woman that called and went off about how white and hispanic women are taking all of "her" black men. Well I didn't realize that Sam was HER black man. But he's not gonna be where he doesn't wanna be. Guess I'm stuck with him. There were quite a few black women that called that said they date outside of their race. And that they don't believe for a second that we as white or latina woman are taking their men.

For me.. all I can say is that I've been married before. To a hispanic man. It was a mistake. I've dated white men. I just so happened to have fallen in love with a black man. I think that it's those people that have a problem with interracial relationships are the ones continuing the racism. They may say they aren't racist but come on. If they want races to stick with their own.. I'm sorry but that's pretty much a racist to me. I've had a few family members that didn't really like the fact that I was with Sam. But you know after 12 years of marriage they figure they will just have to get over it. PERIOD

I'm going on and on about a subject that will never change. There will always be people that just don't agree with the way we live our lives. I just hope that in the future our kids don't have to deal with this. I'm sure that is just wishful thinking on my part. I will close this post with some statistics. They are from 1997 I'm hoping that they changed a little bit since then.

DATING EXPERIENCES AND ATTITUDES

(based on 496 teens who have dated)
Have dated someone of another race
All: 57%
Whites: 47%
Blacks: 28%
Hispanics: 90%

Have not, but would consider it
All: 30%
Whites: 36%
Blacks: 28%
Hispanics: 9%

Would not consider it
All: 13%
Whites: 17%
Blacks: 12%
Hispanics: 1%

Percent of whites who have dated a
Black: 17%
Hispanic: 33%
Asian: 15%

Percent of blacks who have dated a
White: 44%
Hispanic: 38%
Asian: 10%

Percent of Hispanics who have dated a
White: 82%
Black: 40% A
sian: 25%

HOW PARENTS REACT

How parents say they would (or did) react if (or when) their teen dated interracially:
Totally fine with it: 62%
Would/did mind: 34%
Depends: 4%

How teens say their parents would (or did) react if (or when) they dated interracially:
Totally fine with it: 64%
Would/did mind: 34%
No opinion: 2%

Percent of adults who agree with statement:
'It's all right for blacks and whites to date each other.'
1987: 48%
Now: 69%

Title: Interracial Dating Source: USA Today
Author: Karen S. Peterson
Publication Date: Nov. 3, 1997
Page Number: 1A+
Database: SIRS Researcher Service: SIRS Knowledge Source http://www.sirs.com

It's Tuesday.. I'm actually tired today.

I have been working my butt off getting some stuff checked off my "to do" list. Slowly but surely it's getting shorter. I just realized that it's the new year. I haven't done new folders for 2006. I haven't archived 2005.

oh crap.. and my drivers license is expired.. bleh.. that sucks big time. I just wish I had an assistant to help me. Just for one day. I guess I could be getting some stuff done while I'm on here posting to my blog. But I have to have some fun during the day.

American Idol starts today. Yeah.. another great show to watch. I'm hoping that I'll be working out while it's on. It keeps my mind off just how much I want to stop working out. If it's a really great show.. I can stay on my treadmill all night. LOL Usually the first few shows of American Idol are very funny. So I'm sure I'll be entertained.

Ok.. I think I'm over the rant from earlier today. I've just decided that we probably will not do the exchange. It's a nightmare. Sometimes I think that being an admin BB is a whole lotta work I'd rather not be doing. I'm just really lucky to have some great ladies helping me out. It's really so much more work then you think. So many things that I would have liked to have done on BB. For example.. the secret sisters was really fun. The WWYD questions were really fun. hmmm oh yeah.. our BB cookbook.. that was fun. Infact I still use it. LOL

I did my 2 miles last night. I was feeling really good. I also did some really GREAT ab exercises. You only do it for 5 minutes. It works your core meaning your abs and obliques. It's a great workout. I've lost a total of 6lbs. Sam has lost 10lbs. Men suck!! But he's actually working really really hard. He runs most everyday. And does tons of crunches and ab workouts and tons of pushups. My man is gonna be looking sexier then ever before.

Well gotta get done with some this work. HOpefully all three of my readers have a GREAT evening. and Kathleen.. make sure you check in on the board. This is what I'll do. I'm gonna reset your pw and email it to your work so you have it again.. LMAO

UGH.. WHY??

Why sign up for something when you know you're not gonna get it done. I just don't get it. We have so many people that have not gotten the gifts from the Christmas exchange. That leaves Peggie and I to foot the bill to send to those that didn't receive. That's just not right. I'm about done organizing anything like that. I'll send to those that I want to send to. The others I guess can exchange with their own pals. I just don't understand how so many people slipped through the cracks this year. Darn it!!!

I mean.. come on.. an email would be nice just to say.. it's late. I'm so so sorry. I mean I admit my gifts were late this year. I was really sick so I wasn't able to shop, wrap, or get to the PO. But I let both my people know that I was down and that I would get it out as soon as possible. I just don't want to have to be the one that is responsible. ugh.. anyway.. this is just a rant about something that could have been wonderful.

Ok.. I'm done.. awww.. much better.

Happy MLK Day!!

Unfortunately I have to work. They are having some kind of march or gathering but I'll be unable to go. :(

I did lose 4 lbs this week. YEAH!! I'm excited about that. I did work out 5 days last week. I really should have done it on Sunday too. But we headed out of town to see my cousin that's in visiting from Maryland. They were having a birthday party for his little one. It was fun. But traveling 1.5 hours each way.. ugh.. I'm tired today. I don't really have the time to write in this today. Maybe I'll do a seperate entry on my lunch hour. I have to get draft invoices out. I have to find time to get some other stuff done. Then I'll be free. But probably not until the end of the week. LOL Kidding.

Hope everyone had a GREAT weekend. And if you're lucky enough to have gotten today off.

TGIF!!

Well my work day is half over. I'm getting anxious to actually be off. I'm going to the spa at 1:30. I'll have pictures to show how good I look. riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!

I worked out last night. Did 4 miles on my treadmill. Not so bad when you're watching a show that takes your mind off your chubby body. I wanted Dancing with the Stars. Oh boy.. some of those people look like a brick. No hip action and big stompy feet. Sorry Mr. P. You gotta go brotha. I also didn't eat dinner because I messed up so bad during lunch. The only thing I snacked on.. was a sugar free fudgcicle and a very small slim jim. I felt good going to sleep last night.

I think I may take a night off of working out. Maybe go out for a drink with my SIL. Her bday is Tuesday. I wonder if Sam'll watch the our nephews for a couple of hours. I have no doubt he can. He did it all day Saturday. While Ana and I were out running around. But you know men.. oh but you left me with all the boys last weekend. LOL

We'll see.. maybe just dinner with all of us. I can't waste my good hairdo on just staying home now can I?

Plus we have to celebrate Joshua (my nephew) got straight A's. Erik got 8 A's and 3 b's. My SIL started back to work on Wednesday. And it's her birthday.

I guess I should finish up the stuff I have to work on. Hope everyone has a fantasitic weekend.

We're over the hump.. and I'm tired..

Hey.. but only a half day tomorrow. I'm stoked. I'm getting my hair done at 1:30 and massage at 3:00 ahhhhhh. It's gonna be wonderful.

Today I cheated big time on my diet. They had a lunch meeting at work today. They had extra sandwiches. My favorite place.. and my favorite sandwich and my favorite chips.. oh dang.. Icouldn't resist. But tonight.. I'll work out again. Eat a light dinner. And will start fresh again tomorrow.

Last night I did a little over 2 miles. I think that puts me at 7.5 for 3 days. Not so bad. I just gotta keep it up. Sam is also working out. That helps me keep on track. He's not doing the diet much. Althought last night he skipped over the rice.. which was big of him. He's usually a carb eating guy. I commend him for trying as hard as he is.

As I was chatting and playing online last night. All I hear is the hustle and Flo Soundtrack coming out of Erik's room. ** it is the clean version** Quincy and Erik singing at the top of their lungs.. Then they would switch the song. Q would come in the room. Mom they are playing my song. I love this song, all while singing "I'm looking for a dime that's top of the line, cute face small waist and a big UH hind" Oh lord.. we're created a hip hop monster. Then comes his like 6th favorite song. "iz bananas b a n a n a s. iz bananas b a n a n a s..." I'm telling you what will I ever do with these boys. Guess squeeze then everytime they make me laugh.. LOL

Speaking of Hustle and Flo.. Did anyone buys this film. I can watch this all day and all night. Terrence Howard is a man anyone can appreciate. hhmm hmmm good!!

Thank God for prescription meds..

Well I'll start off first by telling you. I'm taking a sleeping pill. Only after I'd been taking it for awhile did I find out it's actually also used for a mild antidepressant. Well at the time it didn't matter because I wasn't up half the night. Worrying, thinking, panicking over something I had no control over. I do so much more thinking at night. It’s never a great time for that. As I have no way to change things.

So anyway. I put in for a refill on 1/3 well here it was 1/9 and nothing. So I call my doctor to see if they could put in the request. Well by the afternoon 1/10 my refill was ready. You know that really weird thing. That while I had not taken my pill for about a week. I started feeling antsy and really on edge. I was getting worked up in traffic, with people in general. So then.. I was wondering if this could be because either 1. I hadn't gotten the best sleep or 2. It was actually the antidepressant that was actually keeping me "sane". Whatever the case is, I'm a happy camper today. YEAH!!

I also am excited to say that I did 3.25 miles on my treadmill last night. I did 2.5 on Monday night. I'm dieting but also not doing 100% great. I sneak a little taste here and there. But I'm doing great. I'm feeling pretty good physically. Now if only my mood would stay like this. I'd be living high... ;)

I've been tagged.. Let's see..

5 weird things about me.

1. I don't like people reading my magazines before me. I don't like people standing in front of me giving me a summary of what's in MY magazine. I read from front to back. Everything even if I don't really get into the story.

2. I have road rage. But not enough to go kill anyone. LOL

3. I like the toilet paper going over and not hanging at the bottom.

4. I like all the lights and tvs off if we're not using them.

5. I have to.. and I mean HAVE to have my body pillow. If I don't have one. I need an extra pillow where ever I go. LMAO

Ok.. there you go MommyMe. Weird ay??

family.. ugh.

today I get an email from my BIL with his new address. In a joking manner he writes that gifts and money is welcome.

So I emailed him back.. telling him.. speaking of gifts did you get your Christmas gift from us. He blames it on not seeing his brother. Sam's other brother yet. Well let me tell you.. (before you say Christmas is about giving) that every year we have sent his brother, his other brother, his wife, his daughter, his 4 stepkids.. ALL gifts. It gets expensive. They never remember my kids. They never remember their birthdays. I mean.. come on. I don't even worry about them getting Sam and I anything. But my kids. These are their only nephews. There aren't a whole handful to give to.

Every year.. he says the gifts are on their way. Then when and if we EVER get something.. they are about 6 sizes to big. I'm vowing that next year.. they will not get one thing from us. Call that selfish. But I could be saving that hard earned money on my own kids. These guys make damn good money. damn good!! We have a house, two car payments, daycare, and on and on. But we still try and give a little bit of something.

Sorry for the vent.. just was getting on my last nerve. :) ok.. go ahead and call me names.

My Horoscope.. sounds like me too.

Be careful not to lose your temper today, dear Sagittarius. You're chomping at the bit these days, though your daring nature has been reined in by financial and professional constraints. It's useless to entertain grandiose illusions at the moment. Moreover, you can expect some confrontations if you try. If you are advised to be more conservative, heed the suggestion.

Hmmm Monday..... bleh..

Hey it maybe Monday. But I lost two lbs this week. YEAH. I mean as much as I worked out and watched what I ate I wished it would have been more. But I'll take what I can get.

I had a pretty good weekend. We spent time with friends. We had a lot of time with my SIL and nephews. My brother made it to TN safely. He's all checked into officer's school. We probably won't be able to communicate with us until next weekend. So we'll have to just send him letters.

I made two batches of candles. Heck.. I'm even getting better at this. I may sell them or I may not. My SIL and buddy think that they would sell. We'll see.

I've also made an appt for a massage and haircut for Friday. I'm so looking forward to it. Thanks to my buddies who sent me a GC for my bday. I went in yesterday for my consultation. I love LOVE the smell of Aveda.

Mondays are definitely busy days.. so I'll have to catch up with this blog later.

Today is a good day..

It's Friday!! I've had tons of laugh thanks for my buddy X.. Thanks girl!

I'm gonna start making candles this weekend. I'm actually excited about that. We'll be spending time with friends and having dinner. Spending time with my SIL and my nephews. What could be exciting then to be with family and friends?

Although I cheated last night during our company dinner I'm not going to let that get me down. Or discourage me away from staying on track. It's going to make me push to work harder this weekend.

This is going to be a quick entry and I have to get busy. I only work half a day!! YEAH!!

Have a good weekend to all of my three readers. Love ya girls!!

oh jeez.. 5 minutes later

and I'm in another mood. I know I'm not PMSing. And really I don't know what happened. I chatted with a buddy. She is starting school this week. Maybe it's because we had started the idea of both of us doing that together. Now she's doing this with someone else. ok.. tell me I'm crazy. But I feel let down that she didn't even call me and ask me if I was interested. This is the same couple that I continuously ask to come over and they hardly ever do. I mean there goes my feeling sorry for myself. I know I'm nuts. I just wish there was a switch that could turn it off. Feeling that I'm not important enough. That I'm not liked enough. I mean come on. I'm not a child. I shouldn't be getting all bothered over this.

Ok.. I'm done. I'm gonna try and get over this quickly.

Day 3: on a roll

Last night I got home and first thing I did was work out. I was pushing to do 2 miles and ended up doing 3. I felt good afterwards too. Second thing I did for myself.. I shaved my legs. They weren't that bad.. but you never really realize little things like this make you feel good. Let me try and explain. I had a I Don't Care attitude for so long. I didn't take care of myself. I was too worried about taking care of everyone else. I didn't even think I did a good enough of job with my kids because I got into this funk. But I didn't care much about my appearance, my hair, my clothes.. but now.. this is a whole new me. I have to start taking care of what's most important. Yes.. my family is very important. But so am I. So.. this is my journey..

Doing South Beach... it's working out pretty well. I cheat here and there a little bit. But I'm not gonna make that be my downfall. Before if I'd cheated I would just say screw it and fall totally off the wagon. Now I'm just gonna write it all down. Be fine with what I've done and just try and work towards being better. Tonight is our company dinner.. so definitely will be a little bit of cheating there. But I'm still gonna push on.

Well back to work I go..

Day 2: Moving on.. thinking, analyzing

Well today is a better day. I have been having some thinking moments where I realize that I'm actually happy with my life. At certain times I feel like I'm hopeless. But this is a new year. We're thinking positive.

I was thinking and thinking.. Sam.. he says I'm really mean and hateful. I don't feel that I'm that way. But I do see where he would say that. I'm hoping that I can get a handle on that this year as well. He really is a good husband and father and I would hate to lose him over something as stupid as giving him hell for something small.

I need to work on my happiness and begin to love myself before I can finally realize why I deliberately try and hurt someone elses feelings. He says he's the only one that I do this to. My parents and friends I don't ever do that. Isnt this weird. I mean.. I tell it's because.. he knows me better then anyone so when he does something I don't like I get upset or hateful. I need to be able to let it slide off my back. I mean it's nothing. For me to over react is just stupid. Well like I've been saying, 2006 is gonna be a better year. I can just feel it.

I'm also gonna try and not take everything so personally. I mean I have my feelings hurt at the drop of a hat. I shouldn't get like that. That's where all my self hatred comes into play. I'm sure of it. I feel that I'm not liked. I try and do my absolute best to make people like me. Almost buying their love. I need to just trust that I'm a likeable person. Or atleast I hope so.

Well I suppose I'll have more to say soon enough. :)

I'm on a new diet, new workout regimen, and have a new take care of yourself attitude. Just little things. Putting on perfume, smelly lotion, washing my makeup everynight where before I didn't care. I will care. I do care. Take care of yourself woman!!

Accepting me in 2006

I'm here to find a way to actually begin to accept myself. I've felt that most of 2005 was about self loathing. I'm fine in front of people. I have a really great way of being "ok". But really I've struggled most of my life with who and what I am.

2006 is gonna be GREAT for me. I'm planning on making myself happy. Making myself feel good. It's always been really hard for me to take compliments. Even last night as Sam was telling me how good I was doing at working out and how well I'm already looking (gag). I just changed the subject or rolled my eyes at him. I just have never been comfortable with taking compliments like that.

I'm ready to change that. I'm also gonna look into maybe going to see a counselor. Not sure I'll have anything to say to her. I'm sure that stuff will come up. Maybe how I miss my parents so much and how I really depend on them to be happy. Maybe I didn't deal with problems the way I should have or could have. Not sure what really makes things tick in my head. It's hard to say. I just know.. that I'm ready to change that.

2005 is over.. done with..

2006 Let's do this..