How many times have I said this..

I want another job. I need another job.

Quite frankly, I get paid pretty well. or maybe not. I mean, I've been here for 8 years. How do I know what the norm is anymore. I have to look into that. Anyway, the turn of events lately have just got me thinking.

First off, I don't go to the "staff" meetings on Mondays. Am I not staff? They are in there for an hour max, wouldn't it be ok if they just forwarded the phone until then. Apparently NOT!!

Second, there was a luncheon that we sponsored yesterday. Everyone had gotten an invite to go except of course.. you guessed it. ME. I probably wouldn't go. But an invite would be nice.

Third, two coworkers of mine have been here less then a year and they both have gone to conferences outside of the office. 3 nights in Ruidoso, NM would be wonderful to me right now. I mean it's a very small place. But a touristy place. They aren't doing anything that I couldn't do. I mean, they are going to sessions (I take great notes), they are doing marketing (got that one down too) and they are passing out brochures (in the bag!). THREE NIGHTS!!

Fourth, and the one that got me HEATED!!, I had ordered 3 cases of paper. Usually my one boss (male) will put it away from me. Those BITCHES are heavy. Well the other male boss comes up to me this morning and says.. at some point today would you put away that paper? I looked stunned and said, yeah I'll put it away. "Nice boss" usually does it. But I don't have a problem doing that. He could tell I was upset. I mean who wouldn't. Ok, yes I know it's my job to order supplies and what not. BUT, he couldn't do it. Come on now, it's THREE boxes.

It's not even about the paper as much as it is just being unappreciated. I don't get to do anything, go anywhere, get anything that everybody else gets. I've been here 8 long effing years and I'm so tired of being here already. The truth is, I won't get the 4 vacation if I go to another job. I may not get bonuses. On the other hand, I may get paid more. Ugh.. the pain in my head. LOL

Well if you've all read this.. that's great. Not sure I have any more readers.. but if so..LOVE YOU!!

wow.. it's been awhile..

Well I'm going to try and be better about posting on here. It's actually nice to be able to just talk and talk and talk.

I had an ok weekend. But I had a little episode on Sunday while making candles. Knowing that I've lost my candle partner is tough. I had a time there where I thought there has to be a bigger reason then just can't sell at work anymore. Don't have the time. I just knew she was selling behind my back. I'm thinking that my paranoid personality is coming out. I'm mostly just hurt that she would leave me hanging but then I can totally understand because if it were me. I'd be the same way.

She kept half the stuff because she's going to make some as gifts. I kept mine to sell what I can and if I can't then I won't. I don't want to be the biggest business person. I just want to be productive. Anyway, I'm hoping nothing's changed in our friendship. I'm sure we'll be fine. But I was hurt yesterday while I was making them on my own. So anyone that needs candles.. put your order in.

During my in-laws visit I gained 2lbs. I have now 2.2lbs to lose to get to my lowest ww weight. We'll see. I need to get back to the gym. I havne't been since my surgury in September. Well back to work I go.

that doc appt was horrible...

Trying to put a catheter on yourself is not so much hard as it is embarrassing having to be taught by someone else.. NASTY!!!

Damn Blogger.. it's moving so slow.. it's probably run by MEN!!!

I hate men.. anyone wanna hook up with a 36 yo hot mama?? LMAO

First off, I'm trying to get my surgery shit together. I'm getting really nervous. I'm having to have self Catheter instruction. I sure hope I won't need to do this. It sounds painful and just horrible. So I have my pre-op appt today. Plus I have to have bloodwork done. ugh. oh Joy.. First reason why I don't need a chicken shit man.

Second reason, all week long I've (ME) had to call all the daycares. Worry about where Q would be better suited. I went and saw two of the centers. I called his doc, medical records, release of information two or three times EACH.. to get copies of Q's immunization records. They told me they could only fax to a doc's office. So I figured I'd have to pick them up. I(ME) was going to have to find a time to go and pick them up. Mind you, Sam has been off, Wednesday and the rest of the week. Well today I call again to see if they are ready. Well no they aren't but then figured out that they can infact fax to the daycare. So, I call Sam tell him take the paperwork to the daycare and get him signed up. I really want him to start on Monday. So then he says, well they are going to ask me for the shot records. Well that's when you tell them that they are being faxed here. He repeats this over and over. So he figures, I should call the daycare and explain before his sorry ass gets there that the shot records won't be with the rest of the paperwork. So I told him.. why can't you just tell them that when you get there. Anyway.. long story short. I called the daycare and explained the situation. She said that was fine. He'd be able to start if they didn't have that if she knew that it was coming.

I hung up on Sam because I can't believe that he doesn't think all this leg work is nothing. He think because I have a phone at my finger tips I can do this. He honestly thinks I don't do any work. that really pisses me off. I do do work. But I take the time out of my work to do things for my family because if I don't. Nobody will.

Do you think he's offered to go with me to my doc appts? nope. He even gave me sort of a hard time about having it done on a Monday instead of later in the week when he's off. oh brother. I wish he wouldn't come at all. But we all know he'll be there for show only. Sorry sucker!! Mostly it just hurts my feelings that he writes my time off like I do nothing. Maybe I should quit my job and see how he really likes me doing nothing. there won't be no money coming in either. Wonder if he'd change his mind?

Ok.. that was long. I better get to work for real.

So we decided..

The more expensive daycare is where we'll put Quincy. Yes it's more expensive. But I also found out.. it's status was changed to a Montessori.. So they definitely have to get high education marks to get that recognition. So that's where he'll be. I figure this is a critical year. Pre-K. So hopefully my kids learns something there.

We have a parent meeting tonight for Erik's soccer team. goody.. from 7:15 to 8:15.. on a school/work night. His coach is clueless.

We have both kids with games on Saturday.. at the exact same time. Not at the same fields. This will be fun. I'd like to go w. Q since it is his first game ever. But I love watching Erik play too. decisions decisions.

We have a concert to go to on Saturday too. Ice Cube (sorry Peggie), Busta, DMX (yum), Chingy, Lil Rob, Baby Bash, and tons and tons more.. woohooo I'm excited.

Well back to work I go..

daycare search..

place by me.. was a bust. old.. overcrowded.. just run down. So onto the next one.

The one that is a couple of bucks more expensive then my new increase. But.. on the other hand.. They have an actual kitchen. They do have Pre-K curriculum.. hhmmmm

Well it's Tuesday..

Back from a long weekend..

What do you know.. Sam came home and apologized and he said.. let's talk. Let's makeup. Whatever. I did it because I didn't want to ruin my whole weekend. But I'm still really hurt with him. I can't believe he would throw shit like that in my face when he already knew how awful I felt about even having to go.

Saturday night I did go see Gina.. the boys and I. Sam stayed home which was fine by me. I had a better time not having to worry about him. We had dinner and some drinks. It was great fun. Sunday.. We had a bbq at Gina's too.. and what do you know.. Sam decides to get off early for that one. butthead. LOL

Monday we didn't do much. I did get my haircut and colored.. I needed it BADLY!!! I ironed the clothes for the week and then.. I get a phone all from Wells Fargo. They haven't recieved my payoff for my car.. WTF?? So I call Geico. Well they don't show that it's been issued. I'd have to talk to the local person. Well she was off yesterday. So I have that to do this morning. The day we got our portion of the insurance.. she said she would overnight the payoff. Not sure what happened with that. Well I called her this morning.. the local chick.. and she doesn't handle any of that and for me to call someone else. Even tho.. I personally spoke to this girl about our payoff. Maybe she forgot me in the last three weeks. Of course I call the other girl.. and I go straight to VM. They had better straighten this out as I can't be having this on my credit report. Suckers!!!

Another thing, I get to Q's daycare.. and I find that I have an increase.. He already just goes 3 times a week. They eat MickyD's for lunch EVERYDAY. And they don't have such a great Pre-K curriculum. So.. guess what else I'm doing on top on my Geico research. Daycare research. I can't believe that she's going to raise my childcare when the services suck. So I'm about to find something else. I did find another childcare.. www.springstonekids.com it'll be a little more a week.. just a couple of dollars more then the cheap nasty daycare.. but it would be worth it if he's going to eat well and learn to read. :)

We'll see.. there is also one that is close to my work.. just a few minutes. It's cheapers but I have a feeling.. it's old. I'm going to check it out on my lunch.. cross your fingers for me.

Anyway.. all this darn stress.. on a Monday.. errrr Tuesday morning.. How many more days until the new year?? LMAO

I had my appt today

with my therapist.. it went ok. I didn't get such a good feeling about the place. it's really old.. unprofessional.. that you have to walk through the waiting room AFTER your appt..(and look like hell if you've cried) to pay your copay. Very weird. My therapists is an older lady that's huge.. like 6'5" and just big.

She was nice.. I explained my situation.. but mostly we just did paperwork. She says.. she thinks we need to work on my personal boundary issues. When to let people close to me.. and when to keep my distance. I think she's right.

well another thing.. Sam and I had a huge fight. And what do you know.. he threw it in my face that I was seeing somebody because I was psycho. I knew he would at some point. He likes to do things to me that hurt me. That for example and the way he says mean things about my mother of all people. He knows that pushes me over the edge.. and he took it there. My problem is.. that I'm always worried about others. My happiness depends on others. Sometimes when I want to do things for me it doesn't work.

For example, I wanted to spend tomorrow night with my friend Gina and her family. All of us.. just having some fun. Well he doesn't want to. He wants to watch the football game here at our house. Well it's always about WHAT he wants.. WHEN he wants it. Never considers me but yet I'm supposed to think about everybody else besides myself. So off he went to the high school football game that we had planned on doing all together. He first says.. he's not going with me. I'm crazy. But then continues to call me names and call my mother some nasty names.. and then says.. he's leaving and taking the kids to the game. So here I sit. with my feelings hurt again. He crossed the line with me tonight. He threw it in my face that I'm seeing a therapists when he already knows I had a hard time even going. Why can't things just go right for me. I even told the therapists that my family was a great support. Including him. YEAH right. I'm so tired. Beyond tired.

He'll come home later and probably pretend it never happened. But him bring that up is way out of line. I'm so ready to up and leave him. But he's the type of person that will throw my kids into it and say I won't get the kids. I'm nuts and on and on. I just can't win. This weekend is starting off on a really bad bad note.

well I'm doing great..

I miss all my BB buddies. I'm sure I'll be back by Christmas. I NEED to celebrate the holidays with my closest mamas ever.

So don't hold your breathe. But I'll be back soon.. yeah!!

I hope you guys had an awesome week. I hope to hear from Steph soon. I know she's BUSYBUSY.

oh and I'm on book 6.. started off SOO SOOO good. love me some Joe Morelli... yum

Wednesday.. and I'm feeling over the hump

can you believe it? Regardless of all the things that have been said about me I feel great. I figure they can talk and talk about me all they want. I'm not going to read it so then it won't hurt my feelings. What I don't know. Won't hurt me. Well I'm hoping that true. I left Micha alone. I can't deal with her anymore. I should have known better then to even breathe a word of this to her. But when approached with a what's up with Nikki's Circle of Trust siggy. I had no idea and told her so. But curiousity got the best of me and I went and looked. All that trolling my space.. don't think so. But it's cool what ever they wanna say. Soooo.. I don't want to hear them, see them, know about them. We're going to have our own little community right here without the negative. I did talk to Jeanne and I think our friendship is salvageable. I miss her and would hate for it to be any other way. But time will tell. Thanks to you girls.. I'm going to get through this. We all are. And as Jeanne said. There is just some more deep seated issues that have nothing to do with me that's coming out on the board right now. DEEP BREATHE... awwwwwwww!

Love you girls!!!

you and me..

well good thing I remembered what I changed my blog too.. huh peggie?? Well it'll be a whole new start. Now with Chassity still there. I won't be going back for awhile. but atleast you know where I'll be huh?

Monday.. Got a new car!!

Sad thing is.. my insurance is going to go up for the car. Not sure it'll go up again for the accident. My payment is up maybe $20 bucks. Not bad. We got a 2006 Pontiac G6. love it. It's Gold. We need to take it in to be cleaned a bit better and the tint is going to be redone to be darker. We got a fairly good deal as I saw these same cars.. 2006 for like 20k. It had a bit more mileage which leads me to assume it was a commuter car. So hopefully all highway miles.

My email is not working. I've been trying to email and I just keep getting it bounced back. Darn it. Peggie.. I've been emailing you this morning. What's going on girl?? LOL

Well I got stuff I could be doing.. so I'll shut this for now. But just wanted to say Hey!!

car shopping is not fun..

I need a car no doubt about that. But I really was not looking forward to a bigger payment. And I sure wasn't looking forward to having myself hounded by sweaty men trying to take me for a ride. ugh!!

I was hoping to just be able to stay in my house all weekend and hide from the world. But doesn't look like that 's going to work. On a good note, I am feeling much better mentally. I mean I figure I had my bottom of the barrel feeling and there is only one way out.. go up. So I'm focusing on the good I'll get from all the bad luck and drama in my life. Hopefully soon I'll be able to get that darn appt. Backed up for weeks.. man. Good thing I'm not a nut!! LOL

A new day...

Well I got home a little early because I needed to drive Sam to get the rental car. I saw my car out of the tree and the poor thing looked broken up. :( The adjustor said.. every part of this car is damaged except the roof. :(They didn't have it ready so we looked at cars while we waited around. We saw a few we liked. Not sure if we'd be able to get the payment we're looking for tho. I guess we'll have to do some shopping around. I would like a new one just because they are trying to get rid of the 2006s and they have tons of incentives. But again, the payment is what matters most. By the time we got back from getting the rental car, My poor dead focus was gone. They'd taken it. On a good note, We were not upside down but actually had equity in our car. 2k worth of equity that thank God we can use as a down payment. Well I got to get to work as yesterday was a totally wasted day for me. I didn't get anything done. So off to work I go. Only one more day until the weekend.

I'm at my lowest point in all my life..

This morning I was getting ready feeling really great about my life and the things that have happened this week. Then.. as I'm about to leave for work. I turn back and go back inside for just a couple of minutes and my car rolls backwards and jumps the curb and wrecks into a tree. Yes, Thank God nobody was hurt. Thanks God it didn't hit somebodies house. But why ME?? I have been having an anxiety attack all morning long. My parents are out of town. I called my brother. I've talked to my coworker. People say don't worry. It's not so much the car as it is. How totally inadequate I feel. That self-hatred just creeping in me again after I'd already thought I had a handle on it. I'm wishing to just run away. Away from everything and everyone. What sane person would wish to leave their kids? What do I do? How do I get myself together?

I want things to be done

over.. I want to focus on my real life and my real friends.

oh it's Friday.. I'm loving that

I have school shopping to do this weekend. Tons of school supplies to buy. We have tax free weekend and can you imagine the people. ugh. Erik uses uniforms so atleast I don't have to be looking for the "cool" clothes. He'll have to deal with his multi colored polo shirts. :)

Tonight I was invited out for drinks with some friends. I thought about going.. but tomorrow I have another party and then on Sunday I have another Pampered Chef party. that's way to much stuff to be doing in one weekend. Maybe I'll skip tonight and just hang with my family instead. We can always have a movie night. Usually sleeping on the living room floor and having tons of snacks. :)

Tomorrow I have weigh in. And I won't be surprised if I actually gained. I mean.. I was on vacation where I didn't have a care in the world. I did good this week tho. Even working out 3 times.woohoo

My parents our out of town this week and next so that leaves my Sunday pretty much free. Maybe no maybe about it. I will be making candles. I have so many to make. Already pre-sold. Our busniess is doing pretty good. Not sure if I can quit my job yet but I'm trying. LMAO JK

Well it's about 40 minutes until my weekend. HOpefully you all have a GREAT weekend.

oh and PS.. I got my referral I was waiting on. woohoo

I'm back from Vegas..

We had a hell of a good time. I'm glad we went. I feel so much better getting back to work after that nice relaxing vacation. So I've been playing with the idea of going back to school. I mean I've always wanted to but could never really find the time to do it. I mean stuff like this really deserves a lot of time. I had looked it before but could never find the courses I needed online. But I think I may have found a place that does the majority of their stuff online. So I'll apply and see how it goes.

And as much as I'm embarrassed to say.. I'm going to start looking at seeing a therapists. I mean for the most part I'm good. But somedays are really worse then others. I'm sure that something will come out during the sessions. But who knows what that'll be. But I'm worth taking the time and checking that out. Sam of course thinks that things shouldn't get to me like they do. But heck.. he doesn't have my mind much less my heart. He can't understand how hurt and depressed I get over the littlest of things.

My life in general is going really well. Erik will be starting school really soon.. less then two weeks. I'm sure he's so ready. He misses his friends a lot. Soccer starts up in a couple of weeks too. Sad thing is we lost a lot of our players last year. So we'll be starting from scratch which will be really hard on the kids that are left. But we'll make it. They want Sam to be an assistant coach. They also asked him to be either coach or assistant to Q's team. Not sure which he'll pick. But he loves coaching. He loves being with kids. I think he'll take Q's team as our other friend was also asked to assist Erik's team. But we'll see.

Hope you all have a awesome rest of the week!

man.. what a day..

***wow... I deleted that one. I guess I shouldn't have. I was so brutally honest and it scared me to think about what others would say.. LOL

What a bottle of wine will do to you.. ***

I'm going in for a lobotomy..

Just kidding... although sometimes I think it would easier to get rid of all the "scar tissue" in there. LOL

Anyhow it's the weekend. I'm looking forward to it. I need to catch a break. I will also be going to Las Vegas next Wednesday for a few nights. I'm looking forward to it. We are taking the kids.. so now. What goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas.. it'll be a nice family trip this time around. None of my buddies were able to meet me there. Maybe next time mamas. We will have to meet up soon. I miss you guys!

Well the week is coming to an end and I couldn't be happier. It's been a tough one for sure. I've finally dealt with some things that I should have dealt with long ago. I've been MIA from my board that I miss so so much. I know that those ladies on that board are nothing but support for me. Much more then some of my other friends for sure. But I'll get back there soon. I've actually just been enjoying the stress free don't have to think about what stuff in going on there. LOL

This weekend seems like it'll be pretty darn busy. Last night we had a DLHH. Stands for a downlow happy hour. We didn't invite the four tops.. meaning the 4 top bosses in my company. It was fun. Didn't stay out to late but it was nice to have a drink instead of just working with these people. Tonight we have a bday dinner for my best buds mama. Lord help me stay on program with my points. ouchy.. Tomorrow morning I have weigh in. I'm thinking I may have lost what I gained last week. Hopefully!! everybody cross their fingers. After weigh in I have m salsa class. I love that class. This lady can move. I want to be like her when I grow up. I've been going to the gym atleast 4-5 times a week. I haven't seen a really noticeable change but I think that once my body gets used to working out.. it'll start kickin up the weight loss. Saturday I thought about taking the kids to see Cars. We haven't seen it. Can you believe it? I did take them to see Pirates of the Caribbean. Sam and I liked it more then the kids I think.. LOL Saturday night, making MORE candles. I'm telling you we've got ourselves a business. People actually love them. They say they are the most fragrant and slowest burning candles ever. They also burn evenly.. so if any of my readers would like to buy one.. try me at dreamscents@gmail.com. woohoo Sunday, I was asked by my brother if I can go hang with my SIL at their open house. They are trying to sell their house and she doesn't want to be alone there with the kids. I asked him where will you be.. he says.. uuuuuuh... hmmmm Playing paintball.. WTF?? LOL Anyway.. it's ok because I haven't been able to spend time with them since like the party. So it'll be really nice. I have to find time in there to actually pack my stuff. Leaving in the middle of the week is really hard. We have to get everything done when we get home from work on Tuesday.. that's a killer. But we'll get it done.

Ok.. I gotta finish some work. I'll have to catch up with the rest of ladies later. Have a GREAT weekend.

Post on My MySpace Blog..

Thought I would copy it here too.. just so I can say I posted.. LOL

to hell with you!!
Current mood: pissed off

I don't need people that bring me down. I don't need people that don't add any substance to my life. I don't need people that are fake. I don't need people that view me as a weak person and take advantage of that. I don't need people like you!!
Bubye!!

*Note: This doesn't mean everybody in my life... just those that fall into those categories.. I'm cleaning out my life. ridding myself of people that are not true friends.

For the love of God..

Why can't this week just be over? This week has been crazy. Q has a stomach flu or something. He was up three times last night.. not just change your undies accidents.. but get in the bath tub, start the washer accidents. My poor boy. This morning he was all chipper. My tummy not hurt today mama. I go to school. hmmm great. Means I gotta go to work after being up all night..OUCH!

My boss is diddly daddling with the invoices that were ready for his review YESTERDAY morning. I have 2 days for everyone to look them over and get them back to me to do final invoices. I'm leaving on Wednesday of next week on vacation and they want them out before then. Well I can't stay late. I just don't have anyone to pick up my kids on the days Sam works.
bleh.. work sucks!

Then.. I find out that the group I thought I was in.. I am not. I got my feelings hurt. Shouldn't have bothered me. But I really thought I was like in the know. Not a big deal. It's not like I haven't been left out of the loop before with other people. Oh well time for me to leave the pity party and get my ass in gear.

Hope you mamas have a GREAT day!

woohoo Thursday..

I was off Monday.. and this week still feels like the longest week ever.. ugh! Anyway.. lots going on. I got my vacation planned.. Vegas here I come. I got my surgery planned August 24th. I'm hooked up with a great concert. Chris Brown and lil John. I'm going to a tickle me pink party Friday night.. ooo la la.

Nobody comes and visits my blog.. I know I'm boring and all.. but dayum.. nah.. just jokes. I know atleast two that come visit me every now and again.

I'm still taking a break from my board. which is ok for me right now. I feel that I can step away .. know that things are getting taking care of and I don't have to stress about it. It's been ok. There has been times where I feel like I wanna go and check on everybody. But right now it's better for me to take a step back.

On a lighter note.. our Vegas trip will be exciting. We're planning like 3-4 nights. We're taking the kids and I just know that they will have a great time. They've made Vegas and more kid friendly place. We'll be taking in the Excalibur show and I'm sure my kiddos will love that. As well as all the kid games downstairs or Circus Circus. It'll be great fun. I'm excited.

Well I'll close for now. I gotta get payroll done.. and tons of other stuff done too.

oh well guess it's good it's not Monday

I'm tired today. I felt nauseated this morning. No.. definitely not pg but just anxious because I had to be back at work today. I so need a new career. not sure what exactly I'd like to do. But I feel that I need a change. PMS is in full force right now. I love when I'm a bitch. LOL

I had a great weekend. Party went off awesome. We did have a downpour of rain. But we live in a dessert we make do when mother nature calls on us. We loved it. the pinata was was soaked to the bone as we all were. But we had so much tequila in our system that it didn't even matter. As long as I didn't have a white t-shirt on I was good. LOL

Sunday my pampered chef party was awesome. I had quite a few people that ordered from me. I was happy. I'm thinking of what exactly I want to have as my free gift. We'll see. I'd love the new pots and pans but we'll have to work on that one with Sam. LOL.. it's a high price item to have to still pay half for.

Monday on my day off. We met my parents and SIL for breakfast. After that we went and got our nails done.. myself and my cousin who is staying with me. Then we went home and hung out for a bit and then off tot he movies to meet my mom and her friend. The Devil Wears Prada is a cute movie. Anne Hathaway was cute in it. I cheated big time this weekend. But I also went to my step class last night and I'll have Cardio Kickboxing tonight. Whew.. I'm tired just thinking about it.

I sold just about all my candles too. I'm very excited about that. woohoo!! Maybe I can quit now. riiiiiiiiiiight?? LOL

Well I'm off of here for a bit. I have tons of stuff to get together. Hope you all had a great weekend.

Life is just so unfair...

A good friend of mine's husband collapsed and died on the golf course yesterday. She called me on the way to the hospital. I just was in total shock. For her and her three girls.. and baby on the way to have to deal with. I was really depressed and upset about the whole thing all day yesterday. On top of what was bothering me before the call. My husband about got a needle in the eye for telling me how could you be so sad. I mean.. ok.. granted I didn't know him personally. But I know her and I feel for her. I also put myself in that situation and I couldn't imagine how I would cope. So to men all around the world.. screw you!

I've stepped away from my board for awhile. So I'm sure I'll have more and more time to update my blog. I know I've been slacking somewhat. But the days have been zooming by. I'm trying really hard to get through all my work stuff and just get things done. But definitely am going to make an honest effort to come here once a day minus weekends since I'm never able to make it here.

Hopefully everybody had a great 4th. I'm heading into the largest party weekend for me ever. Tonight we have a get together for family that are coming into town. Tomorrow is my parents surprise party for their 60th birthday. And Sunday I have a pampered chef party. I have candles that I made from Tuesday (40 of them) that I'll have on display on Sunday too. Busy Busy!! I'm off Monday so maybe I can sneak on and get in an update on how crazy my weekend was.

Hope you all have a great weekend... my one or two readers!! LOL Love you girls!!

why is it that I suck

at losing weight. I just am not good at it. I'm frustrated and so ready to give up. I have a great coworker that's doing it with me. She's a great help. She lost tons this week. I'm really happy for her but at the same time jealous. We do pretty much the same things. I know bodies are different. She has more to lose so it comes off faster. But I just want to be consistently losing. I can't seem to get it right.

Well that's my post for the week.. sad it has to be a vent.

geez.. I've been gone awhile.

Well let's see.. what's happened in the three weeks since I've been gone.

I've lost a little more weight. I'm definitely getting to where I can fit into my clothes comfortably. I'm excited but yet to get the motivation to workout. I feel in a rut in that aspect.
Work is going ok. I've been so extremely busy late. Haven't even had time to visit my board much. I do keep in touch regularly with most of my buddies anyway. It's summer and we are getting more work then we can keep up with. That's a good thing. Maybe soon we'll be getting a bonus. We could sure use one for vacation. I just want to get a way for the weekend. I would love to have a few days off of quiet time. aww.. what is that exactly?

I just wanted to make sure I posted a blog before people forgot me. I hope everyone out there in blogger world is doing well.

oh and I have a story of what happened last night..

Sam was grilling out late last night.. like 8:30 and he hears a little boy screaming at the top of his lungs. So he looks over the wall in our backyard which faces is a huge Medical Office parking lot. This little boy was screaming why did you leave me. So then he was probably a good 100 feet from where we were. We call him over and I ask him where his daddy was. He said he dropped him off. I asked him where his mama was. He says she doesn't want him to live with her. So then I ask him where he was supposed to go. He said they told him he had to live with someone else. This poor boy was so sad. His eyes were so red from crying. I was about to call 911 and bring him over the wall. Guess who rolls up like nothing? The dad. He drove up and we just look at him like he would maybe explain to us what he was doing leaving his kid out like that. But he didn't even acknowledge us. We just asked the little boy if he was ready to come home and if he was going to be a good boy. I told him that we were worried about him because we heard him crying. Still no response to us at all. Just a stupid little grin.Ok.. I felt bad the whole night. I should have still called the police. I mean teach your kid a lesson sure.. but why that way. Why abandon him like that when anyone could have taken him. The father was gone atleast 10 minutes if not more. it would have been easy for us to bring him in the house and not said a word.. just called the police. The parents would have had a worse time of it then just having a bad child. I'm going to call the hospital and get the security number just in case something like that ever happens again. But also in the event it happens again there won't be a second thought about calling the police. You shouldn't be able to just drop your kids off. I remember as a young girl.. threatening to run away. But those were days when you could actually walk the street alone. Now a days who knows what would have happened to that little boy. Before we saw him he was walking toward a really really busy street.

OMG!!

I'm having the most horrible week!! It's not even PMS time. I'm going nuts!! Crying for extended periods of time is not good! Hope everyone has a great weekend.

rough weekend..

I left here on Friday pretty darn happy that I got a break. My weekend didn't go as planned. First off Friday we just hung out and watched the game at home. That was nice. I weighed in and lost 2 lbs. I was very excited and happy. I then got my hair dyed and it came ok. The highlites didn't show up like I wanted so I'll have to do it again. that sucks. We went to the bowling party and had a good time. Didn't get to bowl and dummy (me) forgot her socks. :(

Saturday afternoon we hung out with the kids until it was time to get ready for the wedding cocktail reception. We got all dressed up since it was gonna be in the fancy restaurant at the casino. Well we get there thinking it'll be lively and fun. We can dance and just let off some steam. First of all it was being held in the lounge so we were mixed in with the regular customers. Since it was an open bar the waitresses and the bartenders helped us last. Guess they figured we weren't going to tip. So anyway.. we had to wait a long azz time for drinks. Then when Sam goes up the bar to order they ask him to take off his hat. It was like a dressy derby hat. So he took it off and over to his left he sees to cowboys with their hats on. So he asks the bartender why they were wearing their hats. He didn't say a word. So Sam right there in front of him put his hat back on. We can get with the rules not a problem. But when they don't make everyone follow them.. then forget it. We left soon after because the service was horrible and we were getting a bit tired.

Sunday I got up and went over to my parents house and then to my brothers to go get the boys. My brother had traveled with his best bud to their other best buddies parents house two hours away. The best friends dad is dying and they want to see him before he passes. The three of them have been best friends since 1st grade. We all grew up very close because we lived across the street from each other all those years growing up. Well my brother called and he told us that after 30 minutes that they had left he passed. :( So very sad. He last maybe 3-4 weeks. He died of pancreatic cancer. So there has just been this looking feeling over me all day. Not only about his passing.. he was a great guy. But it makes me think that my parents are his age. That could easily be me. I feel horrible for his kids. I'm waiting to find out when the services are. It'll sure be a sad time for everyone. Sunday evening having dinner at my parents house was nice. My brother was out playing soccer with my nephew and you heard this cry. Well my brother (he's training for a 30 mile marathon) tore his achilles. So now not only does he have to travel to and from LV for the services.. he'll be on crutches.

So then come to today. I have a heavy heart today. I feel tired and just blah. It could be because of Joe's passing. But I just don't know. It's definitely NOT PMS as I just had that last week. LOL I'm highly irritated with my coworkers. I can have a whole blog about that too but I'll leave it for it's own seperate time. I just can't shake this feeling. I really would just like to go home. But really should wait until I find out when the funeral and stuff is and then take off. I just wish this whole week could just start over. Anyway if you got to the end of this blog, you get a big ol' fat free sundae. :)

Well it's the start of a busy weekend..

I'm actually looking forward to just not having to come in here for a couple of days. It'll be so nice to stay away from the hum of the florecent lights.

I have a sick little boy at home. He didn't get much sleep and neither did I. He caught a cold/cough. I'm thinking it has something to do with the starting up the AC. So hopefully we can get that under control here soon. I hate seeing my kids sick. They are rarely sick so I don't have to worry to often.

Did great on WW this week. Haven't worked out in a couple of weeks. I guess I'm just burned out. I wish I could get the motivation back to work out. I'm just hoping for a loss tomorrow morning. please everyone cross their fingers for me. :)

Well I guess I'll have to get back to work. It's a half day for me.. so that makes me either have to work extra hard.. or leave half undone.. I like the second option much better.

Have a nice weekend!!

Well here's my update..

This has been a week from hell. AF is here and I'm just not a happy camper. People from all walks of life are on my shit list. I'm just not dealing well. But you know being a working girl I have to put on a happy face everytime. So here I sit in my little prison smiling and answering the phone like I'm having the time of my life.

This weekend would have been a good time to rest since we have no soccer for a couple more weekends. But we have plans. Friday we're hanging at home since my hubby refuses to miss ONE MORE TIP OFF. He actually believes that this is the reason why the Pistons have lost 3 games in a row. oh please.. maybe they are just tired of winning all the damn time. LOL

So we swears to me.. I am NOT going anywhere Friday. Good for you buddy. I may just pack myself up and go to B&N or Borders to read and drink coffee all ALONE.. awwwww.

Saturday we have Erik's end of the year soccer party. Why they don't wait until after the Memorial Day tourney is beyond me.. but OK I can handle that. We're bowling. Bowling with 11 years olds doesn't sound that fun to me. But hey, I signed up for this job so I'll be there.. woohoo.

Saturday evening we're invited to a wedding. We're passing on the actual ceremony for soccer snot and attitude .. fun huh? We'll be going to the cocktail reception. That'll be the fun time anyway. Hopefully they will have dancing to. You gotta see this ol' lady dance. I do have rhythm. But if not drinks will do. I'll be weighing in at WW on Saturday morning so hopefully I get a loss and I can feel like rewarding myself with a couple of drinks. Ok.. back to work for this slacker. Hopefully the rest of you had a better week then me. (((HUGS))) to those that read my blog.. LOL

oh what a fun weekend..

We had the best time. I just had to post about that. Thursday.. we didn't even make it out of the hotel. We had happy hour and we met up with some guys from the military that had just gotten back from Iraq. We shared some stories and drinks with them. My single friend actually found herself a "friend". ;)

The next day.. we woke up and I was sick from the cheap liqour I drank at the free happy hour. We picked at the buffet they had in the hotel and then went back up to bed. We got up got ready and went shopping at the biggest mall in the world.. (it seems). We got some cool clothes to go out that night. We get back to the hotel right in time for happy hour again. No more military men.. but we met up with the rest of our crew. There was a total of 11 of us. We had a good time. We went back up to our room and got ready to leave for the night. We all drove in two cars to the harbor... we looked around at the different clubs and came up with the Iguana Cantina. There was R&B, Hip Hop and good lookin men.. (for my single friend of course). Got in there found out it was a $5 cover but women drank free. WOOHOOO! We got out of there about 2:30 and headed out for the hotel. We got to bed around 5am. whew.. fun times.

We got up way late.. got ready to check out and we went and had lunch... that was about all she wrote. We had tons of fun and we hope to do this atleast once a year..

2 more days until the fun begins..

I'm so ready to have this break. We're gonna have so much darn fun. We're planning to go to this place on the harbor that has multiple restaurants, bars and clubs. They have a dueling piano bar. sounds just like my place to go. I'm pretty much all packed up and I'm getting my eyebrows waxed and my manicure and pedicure done tonight. I wish I would have had time to get my hair done. But it looks ok. I'm really sorry I'm not gonna be able to see my best buddy Mommy on my trip. Darn security.. prevents me from seeing her and getting back through the security line before my plane takes off. :(

We're planning a Vegas trip soon.. so we'll meet up. Not to worry!!

Well I just wanted to write a little bit since I feel that I am lost when I don't.

Thank you lord it's Friday..

I've been looking forward to Friday since last Friday. It's been a long and drawn out week. I'm sure glad it's over. I have a few things I have to take care of today but for the most part stuff on my list is done. :)

Next week I can focus on getting my stuff in order since I'll be out on Thursday and Friday. It seems that their is always something needed in my stuff while I'm gone. So I MUST clean "house". Less then a week until I can see my buddies and have a great time. Sure wish you were coming Mommy ((hugs)) :( But we're doing something in Vegas SOON.

I stayed up late last night helping E with his homework. I sure should have had him done with the project days ago. With work and running around all week I put partial blame on myself that I didn't sit him down earlier. BAD MOM. The project came out excellent. So it was all worth it.

Tomorrow at OH..dark thirty.. I will be up along with my dad and SIL. They are having summer camp sign-ups. I HAVE to get E in there. They only have so many slots available. So we will be waking out tired asses up at 3am.. to get a place in line. My dad is going with me.. what an angel he is. We use his address so we can save $$ each week otherwise we'd be considered a non-resident. Thank God for him. Maybe I'll have me a little coffee.. a little Kalua.. YUM. May not do that after as I have weigh in at 8am. LOL

I'm doing so much better on WW. Now that I have my coworker doing it with me. She's obviously lost way more then me in her 3 weeks of doing it then I've done in the 3 months I've been doing it. She has a lot more to lose so she loses it more quickly. But I have been keeping better track and doing much better. Exercise has slacked off some.. But I'm still doing it like 3 times a week. I think I may be down now 13 lbs. Not bad.. Hopefully I don't do very bad in B'more. I can only pray that we walk and walk and walk. As we will be visiting DC on Friday.

Well off to finish payroll.. hope you all have a fantastic weekend.

frustration and irritation

how sad that today is only Tuesday.. Aunt Flo is visiting and I'm so not a happy camper. I so wish that women didn't have to go through so much during her visit. First of all everyone and everything is on my nerves. I'd like to be able to climb in bed and pull the covers over my head. Today we had a really big client meeting here. My boss made arrangement for my coworker and myself to get the coffee and snacks ready by 8am when they were to arrive. Well she said she'd come in early to help. Well that didn't happen half the people beat her here. We get everything together and it was fine. I was getting my taxes and deposits ready so I can go to the bank. My boss asks me if I'd make a deposit for her in her account. I agreed but was still a little irritated from the late arrival this morning. I get back and jump right into my quarterly taxes and am busy when she comes up to me to see if I can call to see if it would be too late to order lunch. I call.. there is still time.. so I call back with the order.. then guess who has to go pick the damn thing up.. that's right ME!! It's been one hell of a day. I'm so tired.. so irritated that I'd like to just go home but I can't. I will be going to pick up E from soccer practice. While I sit and wait for the 1 hour that he has left I'll be doing exercise. Maybe that'll make me feel better. I doubt it.

Tomorrow will be a better day.. XX crossing fingers XX

oh geez why do I deal with this one??

alright.. I just have a major problem with my coworker. She's cool and other then her being really an idiot we get a long.. BUT.. listen to this.

First off the other day we were doing are walk for lunch and she asks me about our insurance. Right now she's under her hubbys insurance. Well we talk and I say well it's really expensive since it's just so few of us on it. I say and then we have people that have health problems that make it go higher too. I mentioned one of the coworkers that had had a heart attack before and another that has hepatitis C. These two cases are known in our office. I wasn't disclosing any information that's not already out there. Well she comes to me today and tells me my hubby is freaked out because of so and so that has Hep C. She said it's VERY contagious and if *coworker* spit got inside of my mouth somehow I'd get it. OH LORD!! In the 8 years that I've worked with *coworker*.. *coworker* never spit on me or around me. *coworker* never bled on me or around me. I found an article for her on Web MD that tells how it's transmitted. ok.. so she read it.. now she has written me this..


Idiot says:
its says NOT by casual contact

Idiot says:
see my husband freaks for no reason

Idiot says:
although one time *coworker* was picking her cuticles so bad it was bleeding bad

I say:
and as long as I've known *coworker* never bled all over either..

I say:
hmmm

Idiot says:
but you wouldn't put your hand on it

Idiot says:
does *partner* have it too?

I say:
don't think so, why do you ask?

Idiot says:
it said on there from having sex you can get it

Idiot says:
i just assumed if they are lovers that *partner* would

I says:
I'm sure they are careful

Idiot says:
that's more than casual contact

Not only does she freak about this kinda stuff..she's absolutely mean to others in the office.. always talking to me about them. How bad they look.. their clothes.. and so on. I just don't get it. It gets annoying.

Immigration..

I didn't post this on BB because I know that the majority of the girls there may not agree with me. I'd rather just be able to vent without getting more pissed off at some of the responses that I'd probably see there.

First off, I don't agree with this bill. I hope it doesn't pass. Second, I think that the illegals that are here should be given a green card or what have you and start paying taxes. I think that it would help out our economy and give us some much needed cushion in your deficit. I think that while Mexican or whichever illegal we're talking about should try and learn English we don't have the right to FORCE them. I think that they know that it would better help them out. I'm sure the majority would love to try and learn English. But if ever you were in a position to try and learn another language then you know it's no easy task. I don't think we should forcifully remove anyone that is now living here. Unless of course they are known felons or something like that. I've been very frustrated that now.. since we have a southern border problem that now they have this kinda thing happen. But while we were getting tons of Cubans and Asians that it wasn't that big of a problem. Yes I agree we need to close our borders. We need to keep people out for threat of terroists. BUT the people that are here.. they need to be checked out and put in the system. They need to pay taxes and be a contributing part of society.

I'm babbling now.. but I just feel that I have to get that off my chest right now. Sam says they should be forced to learn English. I think force is wrong. yes.. suggestion is much better. He says that Americans have the right to be lazy idiot bastards because they were "born" here. They have the right to be whatever they want because they were born here. I have a problem with that. We have hard working individuals that come here to better themselves but in our country we look at them to be the criminals. But then we have able bodies that can do the work but choose to sit on welfare for years and years but that's ok, because they are Americans. I think.. that as of 4/11/06 we close the borders. The people that are this side of the border get recognized as tax payers. I also believe that we need to promote businesses and jobs in Mexico and other poor countries. You don't see Canadians moving here.. why? because it's actually rather nice up there. We do a whole lot for Iraq and their livelihood even tho they don't want it. But yet we can't help out Mexico.. so that their people are happy to stay there. Happy with the job they have.. happy with the housing and what not. ugh!!

scared..

yesterday while at work we had a deranged sorta drugged out crazy person that walked into our office with a walking stick/cane sorta weapon. The top third of that stick was all metal.. As we are trying to figure out what he wants he just picks up things and looks and them and takes them. While my coworker and I are just trying to talk to him, my other coworker calls 911. During this time, he is slaming the stick on the table to pick up something else. Well my boss is trying to show him things he's picking up. She usually if we have unwanted visitors asks them to leave. But this time we both felt threatened. So we tried to talk to him long enough for the cops to come. We also are trying to talk toward the door. He's taken a few things from the office already. He asks for the time and my coworker tells him. Well he wants to see the watch. So my coworker holds it up and the guy is trying to literally take if off his arm. Hardly anyone heard this guy. One lazy nasty coworker just walked by and didn't even stop to see what was going on. I mean come on. Finally I get my male bosses attention and he comes over. We get him toward the door and on his way out he's grabbing some other stuff. then he put it down and was walking out and almost broke our front door with the stick. He put a nice big scratch in the window with that thing. All this time.. was like 15 minutes and the cops didn't show up. We saw him going from business to business and tried to even get in a house. I was afraid that he was going to swing that stick and hit one of us right in the head. He could have easily killed one of us. The cops didn't show up until he was long gone from our sight. I was literally shaking because I didnt' know what to do about the guy. Anyway.. they didn't find the guy. But the cop did tell me that they had gotten a few phone calls and one where he threatened to kill someone. geez louise.Anyway.. if you were to see how our office is situation, you'd see that if my bosses are not here (which most of the time they are not) then I'm pretty much alone and unheard from the back. We don't have panic buttons.. no buzzers.. no automatic locks. We've had other mental people come in here but never felt threatened like this before. I've mentioned about automatic locks and pretty much get shot down. They are finally thinking about getting a buzzer. Not sure how much that will work as they can't even answer the flippin phone when they know that I'm busy or whatever. Our office is downtown Albuquerque.. we sit between a HIV/Inmate/etc. counseling center. They come in here ALL the time mistaking our building for the center. On the other side of our building is a inmate halfway house, where police have been called to numerous times. I just feel unsafe especially after yesterday. Before yesterday.. I was careful because there are questionable characters.. BUT now it's different.So.. here is my thing.. I have a small 25 that I can carry in my purse. I of course would need to get a license to carry a concealed weapon. I feel that my bosses are not doing enough. But then maybe it's just still to early where I'm still feeling an edge.

oh man..

it's already hump day.. YEAH..

Well tomorrow by this time.. my ILs will be on the east coast. I love having them over. We always do so much fun stuff. The kids really love them being here to. But it'll be nice to get back to normal. Watch my own tv. Record my own shows. Run around naked if I want too. LOL Pass gas if I want too.. LMAO.. JK

So I went to the casino last week and I actually won some money. ME.. the most unlucky person ever.. won over a hundred bucks.. yeah!! which reminds me.. Sam had all that money.. I wonder if he spent it all. Just called and he said he has $40 left.. WTF..that's MY money.. LOL

I've been working out this week. OUTSIDE.. I love when it gets warm. I'm still having a little bit of a hard time eating right all the time. it's really killing me right now. Maybe when my ILs leave I'll be better. I had my annual exam yesterday.. that sucked. The doc was so rough when he was pushing on my ovaries. I thought those things were like gonna pop out. I was sore all night. OUCH!! Hope everything comes back normal. I would hate to have to do a retest or something.. ugh.

Well here comes trouble. I best be getting back to work.

sonofabitch

oh man.. I'm so mad. I was going to take the boys for their pictures this weekend. They haven't had any together in a couple of years probably. Anyway.. my MIL took the boys to get their haircut for me today. Well instead of asking me.. THEIR MOTHER.. she asked Sam.. WTF does he know.. obviously NOTHING.. She cut Q's hair major short. :(

I'm about to cry.. because I like his hair.. I've never EVER cut his hair as short as she said he told her to go. If you are familiar with hair clippers.. and you know your size of combs.. you'll know.. that a one on the side.. and two on top.. is WAY short. no more curls. And in some cases they don't grow back once you cut them. I'm so upset. I know that to a lot you it might seem like nothing. I mean hair is hair.. it'll grow back. But man.. Now I don't know if I wanna take them for his pictures.. I'm really mad. I hope I didn't sound pissed off when my MIL on the phone.. but dammit..

Ok.. back to work..

3 day work week!! I can handle that.. right??

As I sit here listening to the Gipsy Kings on my MP3 player wishing I was in Mexico.. sitting on the beach.. reading a good book and drinking my coffee. I need a break.. not any kind of break. I need a relaxing break. As much as I love my inlaws and look forward to spending time with them. It's not relaxing. we are from one place to another. Or just handling my father in law.. he has MS.. and he's cranky as all get out. He is picky and it drives me crazy. Well they are here for 10 more days. I have Thursday and FRiday off. I am looking forward to that.. but I need a sunny on the beach or cruise ship vacation.

My trip to Baltimore is a little over a month away. I'm so excited. I am just gonna live it up with my buddies. It'll be GREAT! I'm spending time with my ILs on the Saturday while in B'more. I was gonna hang out with my BIL and SIL.. BUT.. they just didn't welcome me like I thought they would. Plus my SIL.. she's lived in MD all her life... and she gave me the excuse that she didn't know where the airport was. Now if you've lived in one place all your life. How in the hell.. do you not know where the airport is. Come on now. I could probably find the airport there in MD.. please. So I changed my plans for that night. I'm going with my other BIL to his bday dinner that his friends are throwing for him. And then I'm spending thenight at my Aunt in law..she's cool and she said she'd take me to the airport. I'm so darn happy that somebody will give me a ride. LOL

Well back to work.. as I have only a 3 day work week.. things will start piling up on me fast because they want them before I leave. That means.. payroll has to go in early too.. plus I won't forget my taxes this time. ;)

oh crap!! I'm in trouble

with the IRS. I forgot to put in one of payroll payments for last month. a 21% fine.. crap..

ugh..lord help me.

I'm really irritated and would like to just go home. Why do I have to work with people that are just not like me.. LMAO

Well I made turkey burgers the other night. So I know Sam won't eat them.. so I brought them in to work. I offered it to my one coworker and she said, well let me look at them. I was like huh? so you won't eat them if they look funny? she said no, kiddingly I guess but still. I brought all the works too. lettuce to wrap them in.. fat free cheese. tomato and onion. and avocado. yummy. Well she sure fixed herself up one. Guess she figured I knew how to cook or something who knows. I know there are people that I won't eat their food. But that's like people I don't know and stuff. But it was just weird. Anyway.. She about took all my avocado too darn it.. which is my favorite. LOL

My other coworker.. well I was on the phone with a buddy of mine and all he did was just stay standing there for like 5 minutes. Guess he was waiting for me to get off the phone. I don't do this. I don't stand there and wait. That's rude. All he was waiting to ask me if I knew where another coworker went. Well if he had looked at the sign out sheet he would have known that he was at a meeting. While he's standing there waiting on me I felt like I needed to get off. So I told my friend I'd call her back. But it pissed me off that they have to always come to me with problems they can figure or fix themselves. They hang out here all day at my desk. I know that I'm a great friend and they are drawn to me or whatever.. LMAO but damn.. give me some space.

Anyway.. today was a day to vent on them. Ok.. off to eat my burger. :)

wow.. where have I been..

Well work is killing me right now. We have an auditor in the office so I've been having to print out stuff for him. I've had to fax and refax all these darn invoices that people apparently lost or misplaced.. ugh.. I do that all day and there goes the whole day.. I've been doing pretty good with the working out but then the week is still young. I'm trying to get to do 5 days a week again. But with soccer and my ILs coming it may not get done. We'll see. I did lose 1.8 lbs last week at WW. I was proud of myself. But I'm hoping to lose more this week. We'll see. I'm bloated and everytime that happens you can add an extra 2lbs on me easy.

Work is going pretty good. I mean there is pretty much no drama since our Mr. Grumpasaurus left. I mean.. how can one person.. bring down the whole office. I just don't understand. Well I'm glad he's gone. I'm sure I could be friends with him outside of work but at work we need peace and harmony. Not sure that'll last.. LMAO

My inlaws fly in Friday afternoon. I actually like the a whole lot and look forward to them coming. I'm actually excited. I think the only thing that I not like is that my FIL is a grouch sometimes. But he has MS and he gets tired and grumpy pretty often. I try and not be too hard on him. Also..he's very picky and doesn't like a lot of New Mexican food. Hello.. you'll have to eat it unless you want to cook for yo'self. Oh.. another thing I almost forgot and this is a big one. He takes over my tv. I mean.. basketball 24/7 and channel surfing all day is not my idea of fun. Plus, I'm getting my new DVR on Wednesday and I may just want to use it while they are here. But guess I won't be able to unless I move it into my bedroom. Which I may still do. They will be here to 2 weeks so this may be the way to go. Watch TV in my room. My treadmill is in the kitchen/dining /great room area so I'll have to workout to something other then my favorite shows :(

oh well bring on the good times.. (YAY) I do have one exciting thing happening on Friday when they get here. We're going to my favorite restaurant. Red Lobster.. I just hope I can stay pretty healthy there.

I'm so darn excited..

I can hardly wait to get ready for my trip to Baltimore. Not only will I be seeing my friends there. But I'm hoping to catch my buddy Mommy on my way there. That's if she can't go with me to B'more. I wish I was having more of a layover.. but they sold out on that flight. That sucks. But anytime with ma gurl is gonna be great.

We've gotten the flights taken care of. The car rental taken care of. And we're close to finding a hotel too. woohoo. Exciting.

Work is going crappy.. it could just be that I'm irritable, frustrated and PMSing all in one. oh wait.. I think that's actuall the definition of PMS. LOL Tonight Erik has soccer. I'll be going to pick him up. I just wish his coach didn't think it was ok to be out there all night. It's supposed to finish up at 6:30 but she pushes it until like almost 7pm. It's way dark by then. And frankly I like spending time at home before going to sleep and getting up again at 5:30am. ugh!! I guess you could say we're getting our money's worth.

Back to work I go. Before I let somebody have it. :)

Well I should update..

My friend that went to Phoenix got her plans semi messed up because her friends fiance ended up meeting them there Saturday. She did inform me that she got really drunk and was sick all that night and the next day on her plane ride back. She told me that she danced with a guy all night. She said he looked gay. Why to me does this sound like an excuse to be ok with it. I feel that if I'm gonna go out dancing I'll do it with my girls. It's much more fun if it's a big group anyway. I just feel that if you give all your attention to one person than it's different then dancing with several people. I don't know. I'm weird like that. I wouldn't like Sam to go out dancing first of all but if he danced with one person all night. naawww that's not cool with me. But maybe they have a different sort of relationship. who knows. But I'm warning all you mamas that I meet in Baltimore.. if you're out with me. Chances are that I'll get up and dance.. LOL

Anyway.. off the subject.... I gained big at my WW meeting on Saturday. I'm so bummed out that I could eat myself into a coma.. but I won't. I just can't understand how hard it is to lose weight.. and keep it off. It's horrible. But I'll press on.

today I had..

boiled egg - 2 points
2 slices toast - 1 point
I had a small taste of Nutella.. I'll count it as a point for messing up - 1 point

lunch
South Beach meal.. Chicken Wraps w. Jello - 5 points
Cucumber - 0 points
Jalapeno - 0 points

snack
laughing cow cheese - 1 point
100 cal pack cheeseits - 2 points

dinner
??

ok.. I have a problem..

First off I have a friend.. a very good friend that I would consider even my best friend. Well she is going out of town with her "other best friend". They are going to Phoenix to have a girls weekend which is fine.. (I'll be doing that myself in May) BUT she is intentionally hiding stuff from her husband. The other girl she's going with is recently engaged. Her boyfriend is a really nice guy. I like him alot. I also like my BF husband. He's Sam's best friend. LOL Anyway.. she wanted me to go. But I declined because I know how wild and secretive these trips are.

The last time they did this trip. They went to a bar and recognized someone that was from here running the bar there. Well this certain guy was the object of desire of my BF while he lived here years ago before hubby and kids. Well there was some flirting. And the crazy other girl says.. maybe you'll get a repeat of a kiss from years before. My friend says she didn't. BUT I don't put it past her. So anyway.. she says she has called this guy to let him know she's gonna be in Phx again. He says to stop by for some drinks. So again.. she says her hubby knows because they want free drinks. Second thing.. There was another guy the previous trip that they met at a club. Well he told them about a better club on the other side of town.. so they followed him (her story) and he paid for them to get in. They danced all night and what have you. Well back to the present. She says they called him and asked him to have dinner. He said he would take them to dinner. Either they want to have a bunch of freebies while they are in Phx or they actually like the flirting and company of other men. She told me she has to keep in touch with this man because he has a friend that runs a hotel in Vegas and he could get "us" free rooms when we go. But there again.. it's a secret from her hubby. My thing is.. why keep it a secret if nothing went on. I personally have a really bad case of the guilty conscious.. I could never keep that from my hubby. I don't know.. maybe I'm just making this out to be more then it is. But I just think it's wrong. She told me.. that N her friend is REALLY crazy when she drinks and she has to watch her. She says.. she maybe talk to a guy but she would never kiss him. WHY do I not believe this??

Here's my baby...

Video Sharing at DropShots.com

Well here is a little video of Quincy singing Happy Birthday to himself. He's such a cutie. He didn't have his glasses on since he broke them. But a new pair is on the way.. Thank God.

The dinner was good..there were sixteen of us there. So it took awhile to find a place where we all could sit together. But we had great fun. We didn't get home til close to 9pm. I was so tired. Even today.. I'm struggling to stay awake. I made the mistake of getting decaf at the Bucks.

My MOMMY ME

is the bomb diggity.. I love you girl!! Come to B'more!!

My baby is 4 today..

WAHHHHHHH I'm actually pretty sad about this. I mean.. it makes me think of another one. But I know I don't wanna be too old. I guess I'll just have to deal that he's growing.

Tonight we're taking him out to dinner. Red Robin.. he's kid night there. So they have tons of fun stuff going on. We also invited Sam's buddy Doc. It just happens to be his bday too. We invited my bro and sil and our other friends as well. It'll be a nice big crowd.

So glad the week is halfway over. I'm looking forward to having a weekend home. I think the only thing planned is Erik's soccer game on Saturday. I just hope he wins this time. If not, I'll sleep in the car. LOL

I'll have pictures of Q tonight.. maybe a video too. ;)

I need to get motivated...

I have work to do. But here I sit putting it off.. checking out everyone's blog to see if there is any good reading to be done. Or maybe by some chance someone has posted to the post about our meet up. Nope.. maybe I shouldn't watch the post and people would reply. Or maybe there is a certain annoying drama queen that wants people to feel sorry for her.. maybe there is a post that just puts her into her place. But no.. there is a couple that are touching on the "you are a nutso" but the rest are oh poor baby..

I could post about my new Ford Explorer.. We got a 2005.. 22k miles on it. It's silver and matches my Ford Focus perfectly.. (UGH wasn't planned). We got it Saturday pm.. We love it. The boys absolutely love it. They sit in the 3rd row seat all the time now. which is ok with me. They are further from me arguing back and forth.

How about an update on Erik's game?? He got beat.. BAD. Maybe I should post about how POOR Erik got beat. Maybe I could have a whole lot of people feel really sorry for Erik and even more sorrier for me. <> NO really it's not only his fault but that of his team. They got out played.. oh wait.. that would mean that Erik's team played.. Well they didn't. They looked horrible. I can't believe they did so well at their tournament and then come to play their regular season with a horrible loss the first time. I know that there are bad days. But I'm not gonna make Erik think that they played their hearts out and tried if they didn't even do that.

Well I'm getting off that subject and it was a sore spot in my side the whole weekend. I had a great Sunday. Went shopping spent money on new glasses for Q. He and Erik bent his old ones to hell and back. He needed them but needless to say it put a huge dent in my checkbook. darn kids.. LOL I spent time with my SIL and nephews.. that was great fun. We made dinner and just hung out. I got home in time to iron all our clothes for the week. Boy I hate to iron. But you know never know when you see the big pile of crap I iron every Sunday. Come Monday.. annoyed with work. Nothing seems to get finished.. my fault I know. But still when you're given little meanial crap on top of your own stuff.. that's annoying. oh well.. it will pass. If I would only do my work .. I could probably knock it out in a day. I'll try!!

Come Monday night.. give a call into qwest.. my internet is funky.. the first guy is annoying. He thinks it has everything to do with the filter. But it worked without the filter for months. Found a filter.. put it on.. doesn't work at all now. So I call AGAIN.. by this time it is 9:30pm.. I missed to got booted on The Apprentice.. I'm bummed because of that. So I get an East Indian person on the phone. Holy crap.. I couldn't understand him very good. But we got through it.. moved this here and that there.. and Voila!! It works!! By this time it's after 10pm. Mama is tired. I got to bed without even getting online. That sucks. LOL

So brings me to today.. Tuesday. It's cloudy out and it's blah day. It would be really different if it were to rain.. because I love rainy days. But I know it's not. It's just cloudy to piss me off and to dirty my two clean cars. Work is still annoying.. more idiot jobs on my plate then yesterday. Got them done. Now it's onto my real work. Oh yes.. and "make sure you get to the bank today" Yes Massa!! Anything else Massa?? I'm tired today.. and probably from you read.. I'm in a bad irritated mood. Hopefully it goes away soon.

It's Friday.. YIPPEE!!

Tonight we're planning on going to our friends house for dinner. She's making Lasagna and cheese garlic bread.. GREAT.. there goes my weigh in tomorrow.

I was supposed to weigh in today.. but my coworker just ditched me. Yesterday we were supposed to go walking. Well she forgot her shoes. Then today was supposed to be our weigh in day.. her first day.. and she says her doctor told her she should wait to get on antibiotics. HUH?? What does that have to do with losing weight? Or even joining the program. oh well whatever. I guess I only have myself.. it's ok tho. I've been doing it like this for weeks. I'm ok with that.

Today after I get out of work which will be in like 30 minutes.. LOL we are going to look for a car/van/suv. I will definitely be looking at the Honda Oddessy since I have a little bird pecking at my brain about that one. (love you girl) I hope to find one that is reasonable. We'll see. All I know is what I want my payment to be.. I'll go as high as mid 3's. That's it. I'm telling you we've been spoiled with low payments for so long that if we had a huge jump more then that.. we'll panic. LOL

If we don't find anything today.. we'll go back and look at that new Ford Explorer limited.. that was a way NICE car.. and pretty reasonably priced. But hopefully by Saturday we have something in our possession. XXcross fingersXX

Saturday Erik's game is at 9am. He has to be there at 8:30am. Which means we have to leave at 8am.. which means wake up at 7am. We also have after game snack.. dang.. no sleeping in for me.. LOL

Thanks for all the good luck win vibes from everyone. I did hear that they will be missing on of their better players. He has sometimes of illness.. maybe flu. So they will just have to work a little harder tomorrow.

Sunday.. I have no real plans. Maybe hang with my buddy Gina.. maybe get a walk or run in down by the river.. I've been looking forward to working out OUTSIDE. It's been beautiful. Just been having so much other stuff keeping me busy during daytime hours. Wish I had me a workout buddy.. anyone wanna come visit?

Thursday.. YEAH!!

Well today I'm not gonna kill myself to get working. I need a break. Soon.. I'll be having to do invoices again.. and until then I'm not running on fast forward.

Ok.. so tomorrow is almost here. I'm so looking forward to having some time off. Erik will have his first regular soccer game this weekend. I'm ready for them to start. I love to watch Erik play soccer. It's a great game. Anyhow.. I have nothing esle to really do this weekend. I may make some candles. I've been trying to get a batch in for weeks. I'm actually looking to get more jars. I would hope to find some at Michael's or Hobby Lobby. We'll see.

Sam and I went out on a date night on Saturday night. I think we're gonna try and do that more often. I had gotten a gift certificate from My Points to Suart Anderson's Black Angus.. and that place was the bomb. We both had filet mignon and it was damn good. I also had a couple of drinks that were much needed. We had a great time. Maybe next time we can look at going to a piano bar or something like that. I just feel that we feel obligated to have our kids all the time. Actually up until the last hour we thought about actually taking them with us. But I'm glad we didn't. It was nice. We got to sit close and hold hands.. awwwwwww..

I did order another GC.. so we'll be going again soon.

Oh and one other thing.. I weigh into tomorrow and really need a loss. Last night on my weigh home I was yawning and yawning.. I just knew that I wasn't going to do such a great job at working out. I had to figure out something. I had some Red Bull that I keep in the house for drinks.. yum.. Red Bull and Yagermeister.. I figured I should drink one and see if that woke me up a bit. Well I guess it must have done its job because I did 6 miles in 90 minutes. I felt very good after my workout. Not even tired. LOL Guess on those days when I just don't have the energy.. I'll have to pull our a Red Bull. It seriously worked.

Ok.. better get to work now.

so glad it's Wednesday..

Only a couple of days of this crazy week.. Thank God. Today is Ash Wednesday and I was thinking of going to church but I took an allergy pill this morning and I am sure to fall asleep. ugh.. not good. I still may if my SIL calls. She was in training and she wasn't sure if they were gonna let her out early enough to get down here. We'll see.

I've been working non-stop since last week. I haven't gotten a break until about now. I actually still have tons of work to do. But I'm saying screw it for just a few minutes.. long enough for me to write in my poor blog. Before now I'd been posting an entry everyday except maybe Saturday and Sunday. Well I'm gonna be back on track. I've noticed that when I write stuff down I do so much better during the day. All the frustrations and aggravation get typed and out and I feel like I'd just vented. LOL

This weekend we have Erik's first regular soccer game of the season. They did so well in their tourney that I'm hoping he can pull out a win. Saturday we're also invited to do to my bosses house for a party. I'm hoping we can go as they have great food, drinks and music. We'll see how Saturday goes. We're in the process of looking into buying a car. Either a new or used.. we'll see. Last night we test drove this really REALLY nice 2004 Explorer. It was a Limited Edition... so it was pimped out. I loved it. It only had 37 miles.. must have been a lease. We're gonna keep looking around but if this baby is still there on Saturday we may just have to walk away with that baby. Although I'd much rather have a van.. more room for standing and what not.. I'll settle for a bigger SUV. This car actually sits seven which would be wonderful. I guess by Saturday we'll have a new car.. or hopefully we will. Our Explorer is totally a POS. It's on it's last legs. The bad thing is we still owe on it. See that's what you get when you refinance a home equity loan and they ask you if you want to include the car.. ugh. This bad boy is a 1998. We should have been done paying for this long ago. Oh well you live and learn right..

This week is such a good week for tv.. The bachelor finale was on Monday. Although he didn't pick the girl I liked the other was ok. She was nice and cute. Tuesday you had American Idol and Amazing Race. I missed most of AI as I was out at the car lot looking at cars. I did catch all of AR and I just loved it. Tonight I think is AI again.. and then tomorrow well you have Survivor.. and all the rest of the must see tv line up. I'm excited.

I lost 1.4 lbs this week. I've been doing better with dieting.. and also better with not weighing myself everyday. I have a coworker that is gonna go with me to meetings on Fridays at noon when we get out of here. It will be nice to actually have someone there for support when we want to snack. I only worked out 3 days last week.. not bad considering I had a loss. Now I'm wondering if I'm pushing myself to do 6 days a week, 4 miles a day. That seems like a lot when you're not losing crap. Well I'm keeping on truckin for darn sure. Hope all is well with you guys. I'm off to work once again.

oh lord.. it's been a week...

I promise that I'll get in a post tomorrow. It's been a crazy week for sure. Busy Busy!! Love you Michelle.. thanks for consoling my blog mama!!

Could this day get any worse?

Today I seemed to have lost my office keys. I know they have to be between here and my car. I never take them out of my purse but I did yesterday because I had to get into my file cabinet that I keep locked. So who knows where the heck I put them. Hopefully they are not in a box that I've taped up for storage. LOL

Second thing.. I get into work and see I have a voicemail already so early. I look and it's my alarm company. My alarm is going off and they are gonna dispatch the police. GREAAAT. They charge $25 for a false alarm. perfect.

Well now that I think about it it had to have been me. I left about 6:45 and that's the time it went off. I ran back in the house to get a piece of paper for Erik's soccer practice. I can't remember if I'd reset the code. ugh.. so anyway.. she also tells me that I'd have to go home and manually reset the code. well I work to far away. So does Sam. So either we leave it unarmed or one of us has to go set it.

Thirdly, I feel like blah today. It has everything to do with my period.. I just know it is. I can't get out of the ugly mood that I'm in. It's horrible. oh and yes.. I have another gripe for today. Erik usually has soccer practice on Tuesday and Thursdays. Well Tuesdays are doable for us. I can't get out early to go pick him up and take him. A friend could do it but her son is just finishing up his basketball season. Until then he probably won't be going to soccer practice himself. So, Erik's coach called last and asked if it would be alright for her to pick him up from school and take him to practice which is fine. But this would mean I have to pick him up at 6:30 when practice ends. This isn't totally a problem but because I have to travel half an hour north to go get Q.. then another 20 minutes east to go get Erik.. it's gonna take me all of an hour to go from one place to another. Then another 20 minutes home. I guess my workout will be put on the backburner on Tuesdays. Because my 7:30 or 8pm.. I'm gonna be wanting to just relax. I'm usually done by 7pm. So to just barely be starting without really having dinner.. would not be good for me. I figured that Tuesdays could just be my off day. So I guess I'm off tonight.. YEAH!!

I do have some good news. While I was away on my family trip, Erik did so well in his soccer tournaments. I was so so sorry I missed his games. He won both games on Saturday. And won one game on Sunday and tied the other. Four games total with no losses is awesome. They did get second place just because the team that they tied actually shut out all their other opponents. But that's got to say something for Erik's team. They actually scored on those guys. So I say.. in my eyes they got first place. They were so darn excited Sam says. Everybody was talking about how they are really coming together as a team. And that they may go undefeated this season. We can hope. Well I'm going back to work. I busted butt yesterday. So I'm gonna try and keep up my momenetum.

2.6 hours until vacation.. woohoo

Do not mix.. two allergy pills with a big lunch and no sleep. They just do not work well together. I've been feeling horribly sluggish all day. Since like 9am this morning. I'm about to pass out. I have to workout when I get home too. Maybe I'll find it in myself to get it done. I've been doing so so awful on the diet. Yes I joined WW on saturday.. and yes I've probably gone WAY over my points. But I'm not giving up. I'm still sticking with it. I just have to. I need to be skinny.. LOL

I'm hoping that this weekend while in TN that I can actually get some exercise in. I know that diet will probably be thrown out the window. It usually is while traveling. But we'll see.. everybody cross your fingers for me. XX

Sam and the boys are gonna have some fun. May catch a movie on Friday.. Erik's off from school. And then of course Erik has his tournament this weekend too. I'm hoping I can catch his Sunday game. We'll see what time it starts. Well I don't have a whole to write about today. I've been trying just to stay busy so I don't literally fall asleep at my desk. That would sure not be good. They may take away my raise.. OUCH!!

Love is in the air..

First off, Happy Valentine's Day to my readers.. LOL.. I sound so popular.. WAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Well I'm not expecting much from my honey today. I figure that flowers would be nice but I'm going out of town on Thursday and didn't figure I'd be here to enjoy them before they died on me. So I'm hoping for just a really cute card that he actually put some thought into. Actually stood there and read instead of just grab and go. Those kind of things mean so much more. I did give him a very special card today. I'd left it in his car so that this morning when he was on his way to work he'd see it. Well I know that this probably meant more to me then him. There was actually a story behind it. The first card I picked up and it said the most perfect thing. Very similar to how we met. So I of course thought it was fate that I get this card. Well the sucker read the little bit that I wrote but didn't actually read the card. UGH.. he bugs the heck out of me. But then brings me to the other thing I'd been thinking. How after all these years I can still love the man I married more then ever. I just feel that we must have come upon our soul mates because he and I are truly great together. I'm corny I know. But I just had to say that. LOL

Anyway.. we're planning a steak and potato dinner with our kids. awww the romantic things we do.. LOL

Wishing for a great review...

Today is the day. 1:30pm.. please whoever reads this.. if you could just keep me in your thoughts and prayers. It's not so much about the raise that gets me nervous.. as it is being in a closed room.. with not one of my bosses.. not two.. but ALL three. I'm the only one in the office that has to deal with all three.. :(

I don't like it. I feel intimidated. But I did follow through with my plan. I made green chile chicken enchiladas.. red chile beef enchiladas, spanish rice, refried beans, and tortillas. I hope they like it. That's another thing. I always second guess myself wondering if I did the right thing. oh well. What's done is done. Now I'll just have to feel nervous until 1:30pm.

The weekend was ok. We went to Erik's school Friday night. Then after we went to dinner.. the only place that wasn't an hour wait was IHOP. Not what I would have picked for a great Friday night dinner.. but we were starving. I don't know if we won a basket from Erik's little school function.. The tickets were 50 cents a piece.. we spent 20 bucks. We put a few tickets in the baskets we liked the most. We didn't stay long enough to see if we won.. but they are gonna post the numbers in the office today. Erik says he'll check our number.. rest assured.. I'll be checking behind him.. LOL

There were some really cool stuff. There was this one basket that retailed at $500. They had one of those motorcycle bikes.. I'm assuming somebody donated that. A friend of mine.. her son volunteered her to buy the hiking backpack. She said the cheapest she found one was for $50. It was 50% so she got if for $25. Heck.. now I feel bad for sending Erik in with a little $10 gift card.. LOL The worst thing is that this friend.. didn't get their in time to buy tickets.. She was late. So she was all bugged. LOL

Anyway.. I better look busy. The office is about done with their staff meeting. Have a great Monday.

lots of typos..

Friday must have been a bad day.. I had tons of typos.

oh no.. I don't want it to be Monday..

I'm so tired from cooking all day.. I sure don't want it to be Monday tomorrow.. :(

But I have only a 3 day work week.. YEAH!!

It's the weekend.. YEAHH!!!

No real plans for this weekend but heck.. I'm gonna enjoy it. I do know that we want to plan a weinie roast this weekend for a couple of friends and my SIL and nephews. So that should be fun. Tonight Erik has something going on at his school. I don't nessesarily think we have to go but I'll take him just to be a little bit of school support for him. They will be raffling off gift baskets and stuff that each class did. Maybe we'll ge the basket Erik's class put together. Thier theme was gift cards. Who can't use gift cards, right? Anyway.. we'll do that tonight. I know that I need to get my stuff together for my trip to TN on Thursday. I can hardly wait. I want to see my parents so bad. I know I'll be a little sad cuz I'll be missing Erik's first tourney that same weekend. But Sam will be there.. It'll give him some with just the boys. I reminded him that 8 Below starts that weekend so depending on the soccer schedule he may be able to take them. I'm sure they will be eating out every night and all that good stuff. :)

Sunday.. is the big cooking day. I need to make some stuff for my work to eat. Wednesday we had some greek stuff. Hummus Baba Ganaouj (sp?) pita bread and falafel. It was actually pretty good. Yesterday.. my coworker brought in his homemade Queso. VERY GOOD! Then today.. my other coworker brought in some mexican stuff from this restaurant down the road. Something else that's really good. Now me.. I'm making all my stuff homemade. I'm planning on enchiladas. I may do some beans for those non-meat eaters. I also have some tamales which I have in my freezer which I shouldn't be eating cuz they are FATTENING that I can bring in. You see the difference between them and I. My stuff will be all homemade. YUMMY. Either I'm really thinking that may give me a better chance at a bigger raise.. OR.. I'm cheap.. LMAO

Ok.. I have another problem that I'm been doing research on. Yesterday I looked up low libido for women. Well there was tons and tons of stuff for men. But very little for women. I mostly was just trying to do research for reasons and maybe some natural stuff that I can take. I have mentioned this to my doc but she really didn't take me that seriously. She mentioned that I was a mom, that I worked full time, I was a wife, and that I was just plain busy. We talked about me having tons of broken sleep.. So first thing she put me on was a sleeping pill. (later found out it's also used as an antidepressent). Well anyway.. I take the sleeping pill/anitidepressant and love it. But it hasn't helped my drive at all. So here I am.. still wondering what could possibly be wrong with me. I guess like 60% of women have low sex drive. Why is it ok to give men viagra so freely but they try and find out what a women's problem is before they ever give her medication like that. Anyway.. back to my problem.. I feel horribly guilty.. I feel guilty when I don't do it. I feel guilty when I initiate it out of obligation.. So what is a woman to do? I thought at this age of my life I'd me in my prime. But it doesn't seem to be working like that. I don't have any problems with Sam.. I'm in love with him more each and everyday. I don't take any hormones to make my system crazy. I have no idea what my problem is. If you know of any herbs or anything natural that I could take.. please pass on the info. :)

well off to work.. I have a little less than three hours to do some work.. :)

Survivor Thursday..

I love this show. I'm gonna win the fantasy league so that I can get my prize. Don't even think about coming close to me Peggie. We'll have to figure out if we'd like a buff or something else. I'm all for anything.

Half way done with the week. I'm still slightly upset by my bonus but I'm going to try and just get over that. I can't feel depressed about that right now. I have to make it through my review.. now come Monday afternoon.. if I don't get a decent raise.. I'm gonna be REALLY mad. I mean.. come on. I've given this company a lot of my time and energy. I just feel that I deserve something. I often wonder if they think I'm overpaid for my position. But when you think about it.. if they consider me a receptionist only .. then I'm way overpaid. But I do all their financial stuff... so I'm sorta paid about the right amount. I can admit that with bonuses at the end of the year.. I get a pretty good salary. But a girl can home for more right??

Sam... my awesome hubby got me some shoe inserts.. and my feet and legs felt so much better while running. I'm glad I got them. I'm thinking that I may still get me some inserts that have more support and arch. I have really flat feet which is why I think my feet are hurting. we'll see. I was able to do 4 miles last night. I may either take a break tonight or tomorrow. we'll see how that goes. Usually when I say I'm gonna take a break I never do. I always feel that I NEED to work out. I sure don't like it. But I do it.

blah.. this sucks...

ok.. before you go and say anything just read my story and why it is that it makes me upset.

Today my boss gives a list of bonuses that she wants to do for everyone. Awesome.. GREAT.. Well I look and I see that my bonus is as much as a newbie.. been here about 3 months.. and as much as the PITA that we have working here. (which by the way.. he's on work probation). Other people got about $500 more then me. All of which are newer then me except for one. I'm just mad. I mean I've been doing a darn good job here. I've been here 8 years. I can't see where I don't deserve to get the $500 more then what I did. I may not stay here late.. but I'm here way earlier then a lot of them. oh crap.. I'm done venting. I guess I'll do the bonus checks.. get my money and run.. LMAO

Hump Day.. and what a hump it's been

I'm so glad it's getting toward the end of the week. Actually the week has flown by so far. I just wish that it could be Friday already. I've been extremely busy with work. Trying to get a little more organized. I still have tons more to do. But little by little I'm catching up. I have my review on Monday and it won't hurt to be able to say. I'm organized.. YEAH!!

I'm gonna also look into going shopping for new shoes this weekend. Which reminds me I have to cash in some mypoints for a GC from Foot Locker. That'll help big time.

This weekend I'm just gonna relax. I feel that we don't get to do that enough. I know that I'll have to figure something out for my review. So that can happen on Sunday afternoon or something like that. I'm actually a little nervous. I mean it doesn't ever NOT go well. But you know how it is. I'm the ONLY one that has to meet with all three of my bosses. It's a little intimidating. I'm sure I'll get through it. I mean I've been here for 8 years. what can they possibly tell me after all those years.

Update on my friend.. her dad is hanging on. He's such a strong willed fella.. but very weak physically. I just continue to pray.

I haven't written to my ex-MIL.. I'm still thinking about this. Well back to work..

I need new running shoes...

Last night I got home and I was gonna work out. I was just gonna do a quick walk. So I hop on and not even 5 minutes into it I feel the pain in my legs. Felt to me like it could be chin splints. I do get those. BUT it was not in the same area that you would think. It was on the outter part of the leg in between the chins and the calf. Anyone know where I'm talking about? I'm flat footed.. so I'm wondering if I need new shoes? I've been using these same running shoes for probably more then a couple of years. I don't know how many miles I have on them either. I know that if you run or exercise regularly in shoes you should count the miles.. seems weird.. but true. So anyway... I'm thinking either I need better support.. buying some inserts or just buy new shoes altogether. What a pain in the booty. I ended up doing 4 miles but doing it a slower pace. Not to bad.. but I was on there an extra 10 minutes. I still got a workout. Still burned 400+ calories. still sweated like mother. So I guess all in all I got 'er done.

Tonight I may switch up my workout. I'm thinking maybe pilates and then abs afterwards. I think maybe I should give my legs a rest. I'm much to old for this. Also with my diet.. I'm thinking that with the exercise I'm doing I may not be eating enough. I'm gonna try and make sure I eat breakfast lunch and dinner.. and a couple of snacks.. or fruit in between.

I'm PMSing this week I can tell. I'm irritable. Poor Sam. LOL The traffic sucks. work is overwhelming. My kids are crazy. I'm a little bit chunky LOL. Gas is still outrageous. It's cold today. My parents are still in AZ.I haven't gotten my tax refund yet. It's going all to bills. Alrighty.. I'm done. Just thought I would share my scattered thoughts with you all. Happy Tuesday everyone.

Superbowl Monday..

I think today should be a holiday. I mean I had one drink. I ate a little bit. I got home got the kids ready for school. I had to workout. Helped Erik with his projects. And then to bed. It was a long night. We only stayed at our friends house until middle of the third quarter. There is no way I'd had made it if we had stayed later.

The superbowl was ok. Lots of bogus calls but hey. The best team won. I was going for Seattle but what can you do when they just don't bring their A game. Hopefully I'll be able to catch the commercials I missed. There were a couple that I really liked. A couple of really funny ones. Some that were just dumb. What about the commercials with the old guy and the young girl. Her strap was seconds away from tearing and the old man is just watching. When the strap eventually breaks the old man has to get his oxygen. This was all done for godaddy.com. I mean what is this site. I've been meaning to go there to check it out. But just have not had the time. I'm sure every man in America has been to this site. It was actually pretty funny.

I worked out 6 days last week. did a total of 21 miles. I'm pretty excited about the exercise part but still al ittle disappointed about the weight issue. I'm sure I'm putting on muscle because there just can't be a reason to see no change when I'm working so hard. I'm sad to say I weighed myself this morning. But really am proud that I didn't get all hurt over it. I'm just gonna figure that I'm changing regardless of the weight. I'm working out like never before. I'm eating less and more healthy then ever before. So there are improvements even if they are actually showing up the way I want them to be. I did some shopping this weekend. They were having crazy sales. So I picked up a few shirts and two pairs of pants. The pants were a little tight.. but not to bad. I'll be able to fit into them by the end of the month if not sooner. By that time I'll have a whole new wardrobe. Because my last shopping excursion I also got some pants that were slightly tighter then I like. I'm gonna be looking good in a couple of weeks. YEAH!!

10 days until I'll be seeing my parents in TN. I'm so darn excited. I'm also excited to see my brother. I'm so proud of him and his accomplishments. Hopefully that weekend will go off without a hitch. I'm really looking forward to it. Well staff meeting is almost over and they will soon be coming up to be for something or another. I'll leave you with that. Hope you all have a great Monday!!